Box of Fire?!

"Did you feel that?"
What?
"The entire livingroom floor just rumbled! It shook like a freight train went through it!"
No.
"What's that smell?"
What smell?
(Ok. Seriously? Why do I have a husband?)
"The boiler, which is directly below the livingroom, has kicked in. The livingroom SHOOK and now it smells like oil in the house."
Out. Everyone out of the house!
Grab the kids, barefoot and still in pjs* and go outside into the yard while Prince Charming investigates.
(*Me. Not them b/c I am a lazy whore who apparently also suffers from bipolar according to some Twitter Troll stranger who only finds me barely amusing so I guess that means I must try harder b/c I should give a shit about his/her/its opinion when really I think it just comes down to the fact that they are jealous b/c the voices talk to ME and not them. But I digress.)
Hide out in side yard after realizing that not only am I still in my pajamas and barefoot but I am also going commando in too-short-shorts that offer unwelcomed glimpses of my vajayjay.
Prince Charming emerges.
From what I can tell, the boiler probably just needs a good cleaning.
Call oil company, have burner cleaned then get told that the chamber/firebox part of the burner (as in the place that contains the FIRE and FLAMES used to heat the water) is cracked and crumbling and could lead to something bad like a flood or to leak FIRE and FLAMES into the WOOD FRAME of our home.
Well, sure, if it keeps rumbling and shaking like that! WHY DID IT DO THAT?!?!
Firebox is being replaced tomorrow.