Friday, March 16, 2007

Custodial Stepmother Failures

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Stepmother's Bill of Rights":
What a joke. I've been looking for information on custodial stepmothers, who aren't mothers at all - and the fact that there is some bill of rights for these "mothers" is ridiculous. They aren't your kids. Let's see - read that again - they aren't your kids. You think you won the lottery by marrying their dad, you are unrealistic, you are idealistic and mostly - you're a failure - have your own kids. I've yet to meet one custodial step "mother" who was worth the title.

Oh, Anonymous!
I am so sorry for whatever experiences you have had in your Life that have left you so bitter and biased against Stepmoms. Experiences that would prompt you to search for "custodial stepmother failures."
(Oh, and I am sorry for deleting your oh-so-constructive comment.)
I feel for you. For I know how difficult it can be to forgive and forget and MOVE.ON.
And how easy it is to play the victim, focus on the negative and cast hateful remarks.
I've perfected that role. I am Master of the Me Vs. Them Game.
But I'm learning that our only Failures are if we don't use our individual experiences as opportunites to learn and grow and be better people.
People who can rise above the petty bullshit that oftentimes pits BioParents, StepParents and Kids against one another.
I still have a lot to learn. A lot to forgive. And a lot of healing.
I'll get there one day.
I wish the same for you.
Oh, and with regards to your last comment. I do have my "own" kids in addition to my stepdaughter. Two of them, actually. I've posted about them quite frequently here. I'm sorry you didn't stick around long enough to learn that not all Stepmoms are as vile as those which you claim to have encountered.


Dolfinnlover said...

I am truly appalled by the comment that was left. We are not mothers...okay... but when they are in "our" custody, we are expected to provide all of the support, discipline and monetary contribution as if we are a real mother. Beside who are you to judge.

I think the real issues is that step mothers & custodial step mothers never get any respect. I we love the kids... we are told they are not your kids... if you are indifferent you are then called the evil step mothers.
However we do what we do for the children!

WS- I also Thank you for reminding me that I do it for the kids!

Wicked Stepmom said...

Dolfin -

I just came back to edit this post as the more I thought about Anon's wording the more I believe s/he is a person with a stepmother. I hope s/he is able to find some whatever it was they were searching for, and that it is able to help them find some peace or understanding in their relationship with their stepmother.

Anonymous said...

In response to the first comment....How disprespectful, I took on my son/stepson at 9 yrs old. My husband didn't see him for the first 7yrs of his life but he got custody because the bio-mother had a lot of issues. There was oviously a reason why she lost custody. Not an easy thing for me to take on and dealing with not being able to have my own. I don't think it's the stepparents fault not in my situation anyway!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

and also why is it ok that a bio-mom didn't contribute a dime towards raising "their" child. You certainly don't have to give birth to be a mother and the bio-mother if she really was a mother would be thankful and appreciative she is bitter cause she knows she wasn't one!!

Anonymous said...

Wow! I kind of wonder if this was left by my Skids BM. I actually recieved a couple of emails that pretty much said the same crap.

Anon is probably a BM who probably can't handle being a Mom and is angery and jealous of her ex's wife because she can.