Tuesday, March 20, 2007

No Trolls Allowed

Friday. 12:30pm. Hansel's* school.
We had an incident today.
Yes. Hansel was pinched by another student.
It was completely unprovoked?
Yes. He was turning off the lights for naptime and another student pinched him.
I washed his arm and gave out lots and hugs and kisses.
Because of some ridiculous policy no doubt designed to protect little Trolls from irate mothers Hansel's Teacher was not allowed to tell me the name of his assailant.
He on the other hand was all too happy to stand over her sleeping body while pointing her out.
She's right here Mommy!

She looked so sweet and innocent as she slumbered. I wanted to stomp on her sleeping Troll face on the way out the door.
My Son had a swollen welt and bruise the size of a silver dollar on his tender underarm flesh.
HOURS later it was still there.
TrollGirl is a Champion pincher. She's either done this before, or has been pinched a few times herself. She knew right where to strike to do the most damage.
Hansel's teacher filed an incident report which was sent home with TrollGirl's mother.
(NO apology was given, BTW. By either TrollGirl or TrollGirl's Mom.)


Monday. 12:30pm.
Hansel is playing in the back of his classroom. With two Girls.
(Oh, his Dad would be so proud.)
One of them, TrollGirl #2, sees me and knows I am here to take Hansel home.
She places herself in his Path and backs him against the wall. She isn't ready for her Playmate to leave.
He is too innocent to know what she is doing or to be bothered by it.
Sadly for TrollGirl #2 his Mother knows what she is doing. And I am bothered by it. I don't like Bullies.
I have to step between them in order to escort my Son out of the classroom.
I later ask Hansel about TrollGirl #2. What game were they playing. Were they playing nicely together.
I don't know the name of the game, Mommy. TrollGirl#2 picked it. She likes to boss me around.
He then tells me he is not bothered by it blah blah blah.
Ok then.
I tell the overprotective Mother Bear inside me to SHUT UP and let it go.


Wednesday 12:30pm.
Same scenario. Different Day.
This time when TrollGirl #2 sees me she pulls Hansel BY.HIS.COLLAR to keep his attention on Her. I stumble over the midget-sized table and chairs as I rush to intervene with this little snot who is challenging me and bullying my son.
Excuse me, but playtime is over. It's time for Hansel to come with ME.
As we are getting his coat on TrollGirl comes to the front of the classroom and stands with her hand on her hip. She keeps her body squared off with his. Hansel is oblivious to her and speaks with his Teacher while trying to get his coat on. He looks like a dog chasing his tail as he spins in circles trying to chase down the ever-elusive sleeve to his jacket.
(It was quite hilarious, actually. Reminds me of this.)
TrollGirl's eyes are fixed on Hansel. She adjusts her weight from hip to hip as she remains fixated on my Son.
She is vying for his attention.
Hansel has no idea she is there.
Hansel, say goodbye to your Friend.
Goodbye Hansel.
TrollGirl #2 is satisfied and walks off.
At the car I question Hansel about TrollGirl #2 again. I don't like what I am seeing. He is being bullied by girls GIRLS! and doesn't think to care. My mind fast-forwards 10 years from now when he gets his heart stomped on by some other TrollGirl. My heart breaks at the thought of this.
Mommy, you know what I told TrollGirl #2 before? That one day I was going to marry her.
Nuh-uh. No way. I'm going to nip this in the bud RIGHT NOW.

No Trolls Allowed.
Time for the protective armor. I wonder, which do you think would be the most effective. This, this or something more to the point like this?

(*I'm exercising a little creative freedom and parental right! My blog. My kids. So henceforth The Boy and The Mouse shall now be called Hansel & Gretel.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OMG, you are the funniest woman alive! I personally would go for the "I smite trolls" one!

Wendi (fellow stepmom and mom)