StepChild's Bill of Rights

Years ago I was given a "Bill of Rights" statement from one of Cinderella's past therapists, which was meant to help us teach her about speaking up for herself and understanding that she does not have to tolerate her mother's verbal diarrhea. It's linked here.

I also stumbled across the following while doing some research and, though laced with negative undertones directed at wicked Stepparent behavior, I decided to post it as a way of showing how actions (spoken and unspoken) can affect the tender balance of the Stepparent/stepchild relationship.

The StepChild’s Bill of Rights

1. A stepchild will be allowed to have a voice in family discussions. This does not mean the child's wants and needs are paramount but that they must be considered.
2. A stepchild has the right to respectfully state his or her feelings and to have those feelings respected.
3. A stepchild under the age of majority shall have the right to a fair set of rules that apply equally to stepchild and bio child.
5. A stepchild will not be responsible for housework and other chores that are not distributed equally and fairly. Ditto punishment.
6. A stepchild has a right to private space, and to expect that others will not take or use any of his or her possessions without asking permission.
7. A stepchild will NEVER be treated as a second-class citizen in his or her own home, nor will he or she be made to feel as if he or she is an intruder.
8. A stepchild has the right to feel at home in his or her father's custodial parent's home.
9. A stepchild has the right to spend time with, even alone with, his or her biological parent, whether custodial or not.
10. A stepchild has the right to hear his or her biological parent, custodial or not, talked about with respect. Referring to a stepchild's parent in a derogatory fashion, is ALWAYS wrong. You, the stepparent, may not like the biological parent, but that parent is important in the child's life.
11. A stepchild has the right to love and want to be with his or her parents, regardless of how a new spouse or mate may feel about the old one.
12. A stepchild is allowed to not immediately fall in love with the new stepparent and should not be forced to call the new stepparent anything resembling a "mom" or "dad" name.

Custodial Stepmother Failures

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Stepmother's Bill of Rights":
What a joke. I've been looking for information on custodial stepmothers, who aren't mothers at all - and the fact that there is some bill of rights for these "mothers" is ridiculous. They aren't your kids. Let's see - read that again - they aren't your kids. You think you won the lottery by marrying their dad, you are unrealistic, you are idealistic and mostly - you're a failure - have your own kids. I've yet to meet one custodial step "mother" who was worth the title.

Oh, Anonymous!
I am so sorry for whatever experiences you have had in your Life that have left you so bitter and biased against Stepmoms. Experiences that would prompt you to search for "custodial stepmother failures."
(Oh, and I am sorry for deleting your oh-so-constructive comment.)
I feel for you. For I know how difficult it can be to forgive and forget and MOVE.ON.
And how easy it is to play the victim, focus on the negative and cast hateful remarks.
I've perfected that role. I am Master of the Me Vs. Them Game.
But I'm learning that our only Failures are if we don't use our individual experiences as opportunites to learn and grow and be better people.
People who can rise above the petty bullshit that oftentimes pits BioParents, StepParents and Kids against one another.
I still have a lot to learn. A lot to forgive. And a lot of healing.
I'll get there one day.
I wish the same for you.
Oh, and with regards to your last comment. I do have my "own" kids in addition to my stepdaughter. Two of them, actually. I've posted about them quite frequently here. I'm sorry you didn't stick around long enough to learn that not all Stepmoms are as vile as those which you claim to have encountered.