I'd like to make an Appointment please.
Ok, for a routine exam?
No... umm... to talk to someone about ... Post-Partum Depression.
Oh, ok, honey. Let's see what we can do.
The professional tone in her voice immediately changes and becomes a verbal embrace - gentle, comforting and sympathetic. Like an arm around my shoulder she guides me through what she knows is a difficult Phone Call.
After a few moments of silence she apologizes and explains that she is seeing what she can do to find a slot.
She knows as well as I do of the potential seriousness of my call.
She does not want me to wait longer than necessary to come in.
What she does not know is that I have done the research and am erring more on the side of caution.
Still I want to be sure.
Accepting it as a possibility wasn't easy. Talking about it to The Husband was difficult.
I was afraid of him thinking less than me.
I felt Guilty over giving him one more thing to worry about.
But I challenged myself to be completely open and honest with Him.
I owe it to Myself. I owe it to our Kids.
He was supportive and understanding.
I've been asking other Moms about their experiences. Talking to my own Mom.
And now I am writing it down here.
I decided to tackle this head on. Whatever it is. Not hide behind the Veil of Perfection that Mothers create for themselves. That I have created for Myself.
I know I am a Good Mother.
I know what makes me a Good Mother is being able to admit that I am not Perfect.
That sometimes I need Help.
And that it's OK to ask for it, and take it when it is offered.
My doctor's appointment is for next Thursday.
In the meantime, if you're a preachy cult follower you can go sell your crazy someplace else.
We're all stocked up here.