Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Don't Tell Tom

Doctor's Office?
I'd like to make an Appointment please.
Ok, for a routine exam?
No... umm... to talk to someone about ... Post-Partum Depression.
Oh, ok, honey. Let's see what we can do.
The professional tone in her voice immediately changes and becomes a verbal embrace - gentle, comforting and sympathetic. Like an arm around my shoulder she guides me through what she knows is a difficult Phone Call.

After a few moments of silence she apologizes and explains that she is seeing what she can do to find a slot.
She knows as well as I do of the potential seriousness of my call.
She does not want me to wait longer than necessary to come in.
What she does not know is that I have done the research and am erring more on the side of caution.
Still I want to be sure.

Accepting it as a possibility wasn't easy. Talking about it to The Husband was difficult.
I was afraid of him thinking less than me.
I felt Guilty over giving him one more thing to worry about.
But I challenged myself to be completely open and honest with Him.
I owe it to Myself. I owe it to our Kids.
He was supportive and understanding.
I've been asking other Moms about their experiences. Talking to my own Mom.
And now I am writing it down here.
I decided to tackle this head on. Whatever it is. Not hide behind the Veil of Perfection that Mothers create for themselves. That I have created for Myself.
I know I am a Good Mother.
I know what makes me a Good Mother is being able to admit that I am not Perfect.
That sometimes I need Help.
And that it's OK to ask for it, and take it when it is offered.
My doctor's appointment is for next Thursday.
In the meantime, if you're a preachy cult follower you can go sell your crazy someplace else.
We're all stocked up here.

5 comments:

Dolfinnlover said...

hey, it normal to have this... been there done that!!! The hardest thing for me was admitting I needed some help! You are a GREAT MOM, not only are you caring for the kids you gave birth to but also for Cinderella!

Kat said...

Girl...I commend you, once again. You know where to find me, if you ever want to pour your heart out to a stranger - and I mean that!!!

safa said...

I think it's great that you are taking precautions. You never know how these things can spiral if not takled at the 1st sign of trouble. Good luck!

:o) said...

I'm so happy you have decided to check this out. There's no shame in that. Good for you. Anyone who loves you wants what's best for you.

rose said...

Good for you!
That must have been a very difficult phone call to make.
It's important to take care of yourself!