Years ago I was given a "Bill of Rights" statement from one of Cinderella's past therapists, which was meant to help us teach her about speaking up for herself and understanding that she does not have to tolerate her mother's verbal diarrhea. It's linked here.
I also stumbled across the following while doing some research and, though laced with negative undertones directed at wicked Stepparent behavior, I decided to post it as a way of showing how actions (spoken and unspoken) can affect the tender balance of the Stepparent/stepchild relationship.
The StepChild’s Bill of Rights
1. A stepchild will be allowed to have a voice in family discussions. This does not mean the child's wants and needs are paramount but that they must be considered.
2. A stepchild has the right to respectfully state his or her feelings and to have those feelings respected.
3. A stepchild under the age of majority shall have the right to a fair set of rules that apply equally to stepchild and bio child.
5. A stepchild will not be responsible for housework and other chores that are not distributed equally and fairly. Ditto punishment.
6. A stepchild has a right to private space, and to expect that others will not take or use any of his or her possessions without asking permission.
7. A stepchild will NEVER be treated as a second-class citizen in his or her own home, nor will he or she be made to feel as if he or she is an intruder.
8. A stepchild has the right to feel at home in his or her
9. A stepchild has the right to spend time with, even alone with, his or her biological parent, whether custodial or not.
10. A stepchild has the right to hear his or her biological parent, custodial or not, talked about with respect. Referring to a stepchild's parent in a derogatory fashion, is ALWAYS wrong. You, the stepparent, may not like the biological parent, but that parent is important in the child's life.
11. A stepchild has the right to love and want to be with his or her parents, regardless of how a new spouse or mate may feel about the old one.
12. A stepchild is allowed to not immediately fall in love with the new stepparent and should not be forced to call the new stepparent anything resembling a "mom" or "dad" name.