Monday, April 24, 2006

Children of Divorce: Bill of Rights

[I wish a copy of this would be sent to every divorced parent along with their divorce decree. ]

1. The right not to be asked to "choose sides" or be put in a situation where I would have to take sides between my parents.
2. The right to be treated as a person and not as a pawn, possession or a negotiating chip.
3. The right to freely and privately communicate with both parents.
4. The right not to be asked questions by one parent about the other.
5. The right not to be a messenger.
6. The right to express my feelings.
7. The right to adequate visitation with the non-custodial parent which will best serve my needs and wishes.
8. The right to love and have a relationship with both parents without being made to feel guilty.
9. The right not to hear either parent say anything bad about the other.
10. The right to the same educational opportunities and economic support that I would have had if my parents did not divorce.
11. The right to have what is in my best interest protected at all times.
12. The right to maintain my status as a child and not to take on adult responsibilities for the sake of the parent's well being.
13. The right to request my parents seek appropriate emotional and social support when needed.
14. The right to expect consistent parenting at a time when little in my life seems constant or secure.
15. The right to expect healthy relationship modeling, despite the recent events.
16. The right to expect the utmost support when taking the time and steps needed to secure a healthy adjustment to the current situation.

9 comments:

:o) said...

Amen to that! One thing that attracted me to my husband is that he never said an unkind thing about his exwife - even when there was plenty to say.

We follow almost all these points, especially about not asking questions period.

Safa said...

Now I would love to see a Bill of Rights for the step-parent!

Coming Along Nicely said...
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Anonymous said...

What about the right to say you don't like a stepparent?

Anonymous said...

I'm a stepmom and I have a teenager who has a HORRIBLE childless step mom (she's only 13 years older than my daughter & my daughter has two half sisters ages 20 & 25 and SM is 26). I think children have the right to state they don't like their step parents at any time. Any time a step parent belittles the Bio-mom (as this one has)a child should have the right to say to knock it off. As a step parent myself, I would NEVER bad mouth the bio parent, of course, I'm not childless so my situation is different.

Anonymous said...

I agree with all of those, my parents got divorced when I was in fourth grade (or at least they started to...the papers weren't finalized until eight grade). Their divorce was a really nasty divorce; my father had bipolar and went manic; he ended up cheating on my mother with a collection of women. With all the custody battles, law suits, and lack of child support from my dad's side he ended up in jail for six months. After he got out of jail my mom would always ask me questions about what my dad did with us; she would always try to find a way to get him sent back to jail. I always felt forced to answer her questions and it destroyed my relationship with my father.

Viagra Online said...

I have always wanted to be present in an Indian marriage. I know all weddings trend to be the same in the long run however I've heard that there is a remarkable characteristic in Indian marriage. I don't know why children always have to suffer the worst part in a divorce.

Anonymous said...

My stepmom was ousted from our house when my father accidentally picked up the phone and heard her talking to another man, informing him that she would ask my father for money and that she was afraid I could ruin her plan to take his house.
My father later found out she was a somewhat professional home wrecker.
Up till then he refused to even think of all the facts that I had brought up to him.

Anonymous said...

if you are religious divorced couple then you are hypocritical sinners,(Jewish ,christian,or muslim )or if you are secular divorced people then you are immoral hypocritical liars ! the original children have a right to accept their bio-parent /bio-siblings,only ,which,means that original children do not have to accept half -siblings or even acknowledge "step siblings ",as a reality !bio-children do not have to care about "step parents",at all!religious bio -parents that divorce,(no matter if the other original bio parent has done horrid acts or become sick ),have violated religious covenant then have ,(along with non religious divorce parents ),brutalized their children ,with the destruction of the family !all these multiple remarriages ,with half this and step that ,if the original bio child,(minor child or major adult ),chooses to accept these offspring into their life .divorce confuses ,saddens ,angers,traumitizes ,and/or destabilizes the child or,which leads to further divorce in the child's life .divorce parents may think they are saving their child's life ,by getting a divorce ,but the children know that the divorced parents have either ,broken religious vows or broke a moral pact .no matter how great the religious authorities approve the divorce or great the remarriages are!divorce is still a bad result !