Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Sticks and Stones

I don't want you to be my Mother anymore!
His Words struck like a Sledgehammer deep within my chest. Crushing me and stopping me dead in my tracks. I couldn't go on. I was incapable of continuing with this battle-of-the-wills.
A battle forged over an unfinished bowl of Cheerios and an unfilled prescription of Happy pills.
I shut down at that moment. Dropping the phone and disconnecting from my desperate call for Help as much as from my Emotions.
This won't end well if I allow it to go any further.
The Boy has been picking up some very interesting phrases lately both from School and the Big Glowing Box. But these Words and this Thought were all his own. Realizing the power they had over me, he repeated it.
I don't like you! I don't want you to be my Mother anymore!
(Stop it. Stop it. Please just stop. I'll do anything by MY GOD please stop saying those words because they strike at the very heart of my Insecurities and my Guilt as a mother.)
Sticks and Stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.
Bite me you big Stoopid DOODYHEAD. They do hurt.

4 comments:

InterstellarLass said...

Awww. I'm sorry. He didn't mean it. My kids try that emotional blackmail on me. I tell them "I'm sorry you feel that way." and walk away. Then they come running with a hug and an apology.

Anonymous said...

Ever thought about homeschooling? Kinda deletes the whole picking up bad stuff from school business

Gabby said...

As I was going through a painful separation, my oldest (8 yrs old) shouted "I hate You". I thought I was going to die. Later, my therapist explained that kids hide their emotions just like we do sometimes and they say things they dont really mean. I know my son does not hate me, he was just hurt for all that we were going through at the moment. Hang in there. It will all get better.

daionara said...

Hang in there. Even if right at that moment he meant it, it was short term I promise you. There were many a day when I thought those words, but didn't dare say them. I liked my lips too much to risk having them smacked clean off my face. Think of it this way...how amazing a mother must you be that he felt that he could speak that way. He obviously wasn't afraid you'd knock his block off. So, you're doing something right! GO YOU!

I agree with InterstellarLass. Just tell him "I'm sorry you feel that way." when he says those things. I would suggest sitting down with him in a calmer time and explaining that he can tell you he's angry with you, and that's ok. But saying words like "I wish you weren't my Mom." aren't ok and are very hurtful. Then maybe ask him how he'd have liked it if you'd said something similar to him. Bring the emotions to his level so that he understands.