Breakfast...

***UPDATED TO ADD***

Track my progress for the next 21 days through my Utterz (located on the right column of this blog).

And lunch.
And dinner.
For the next 21 days.

That's TEN PILLS THREE TIMES A DAY PEOPLE!!!!!
Taken with the MONDO >20oz shake.

No caffeine. No dairy. No alcohol.
Organic fresh fruit and veggies. Lean protein.

Today marks the first day of my 21-day cleanse.

The Incredible Shrinking Woman

ACK!
OMG!
I've lost 1.5 inches!
And not in the *good* places!
(In fact, I seem to be e-x-p-a-n-d-i-n-g South of the Border according to the doctor's stoopid BROKEN!!!! scale. Dammit.)
The inches I've lost are in HEIGHT.
I used to be 5' 8.5".
I KNOW! Right?? That's not just TALL... that's goddamn STATUESQUE.
And all goddesses should be statuesque.
Put me in stilettos and I'm a FREAKIN' AMAZON!!!!
Fear me.
But... no longer am I a statuesque fearsome Amazonian goddess.
Now, I'm just 5"7' thanks to my twisty scoliosis-riddled spine.*
GAH!
I feel so... average.
But, there's still hope I can regain my tallness.
I have gone back to seeing a chiropractor for my scoliosis.
(As is Hansel for his allergies & asthma. And Gretel because... well, she is TWO and there is NO WAY she is going to let her big brother be the only one getting his back cracked like popcorn!)
My twisty spine was straightened out once before, and it will be again.
Dr. Cougar (as in John Cougar Mellancamp because when he cracks my back it HURTS so GOOD!!!) has his doubts, but I don't.
My back and muscles know what they're supposed to do.
In no time, the only thing that will be twisted will be my sense of humor.

Aside from finding out I am now vertically challenged, yesterday's presurgical clearance physical was all good.
Barring any freaky results from my blood work (results will be in today or Monday), I'll be good to go under the knife for my little procedure in early June.

Next up... figuring out how to tell the kids.

October, In Reader's Digest Form

*blowing off the layer of dust that has accumulated on my blog*

*cough* *cough*

So, where did I leave off?

Oh, my ankle. It healed up well. Thanks for asking. After two days I was good as new.

Halloween was fantastic. Craftiness ran rampant.





(More pics on Flickr. Ya hafta be a contact to see the kids in costume otherwise you'll have to settle for anonymous random photos.)

I hosted a toddler costume party on Tuesday (8 toddlers and their Moms. I KNOW!), took Gretel to storytime/haunted house event at our local library on Wed and went trick-or-treating with the Pumpkin War neighbors. Cinderella ditched us in favor of going out with her friends. *sigh* We've lost her. ;)

The kids made out like bandits. BUT... I had to throw away ALL of the candy yesterday after eating a suspicious tasting Reese's Peanut Butter Cup! (Tasted like COUGH MEDICINE. WTF?!?!?!?)


And since we pool all the candy into one bucket, there was no way to know where it came from, if it was malicious or not. Raising kids today is scary. And that pisses me off. I had to promise Hansel that we would replace the candy with something safer. He was so sad. And *that* pissed me off more.

Hansel's had three headaches this month. Stayed home from school twice. We're contemplating taking him to a neurologist to rule out anything major and to confirm our suspicions that he's developing migraines.

Prince Charming and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary last weekend. Dinner and a movie. No kids. YAY!

Maleficent is up to her antics again (still) and is violating the terms of her visitation every chance she gets. Cinderella's law guardian, the appointed mediator for when such problems occur, has been MIA and very lax in her duties leaving PrinceCharming between a rock and a hard place. Court seems inevitable, but no progress has been made in that department. Where does that leave us? Helpless. Paralyzed. Forced to accept things on Maleficent's terms, waiting at the door for when she decides to come and get Cinderella (she is late every time) and never knowing when she will bring her home (again, late every time). I'm trying not to let it dominate my days, but it's so hard.

And remember when I posted about this? Yeah, well I'm beginning to think it may be more.

Where Everything Stops

A mysterious plague has struck our home.
Every one of us has been sick since last week.
Mostly it's your average cold with your run-of-the-mill cold symptoms.
Stuffy nose.
Cough.
Sore throat.
Fever & chills.
As is typically the case, none of us have the same symptoms at the same time but they always cycle through each and every one of us. And some of us, if we're lucky, enjoy a second round of said symptoms.
(The crap coming out of my nose today is just WRONG!)
We've each gone to the doctor. Each been tested for strep. All negative.
Just for fun, I also have a slight case of pink eye, because I am so special.
Never one to be outdone, Prince Charming tops the weird symptoms list. His problem is all in is stomach rendering him unable to eat or drink without suffering excruciating pain.
He's been his doctor, the ER and a gastroenterologist.
He's has blood work, X-Rays, ultrasound, CT scan and an endoscopy.
Everything's come back normal. Well, if you consider this ultrasound pic normal...



(Yes, he's pregnant with a bunny.)
(I can't believe the ultrasound tech encouraged that.)

His doc performed a biopsy during his endoscopy on Tuesday. We get the results today.
Doc tried to assure me he believed it was something viral. But still.
Nothing can bring one's world to a screeching hault like the word B-I-O-P-S-Y.