Wednesday, February 13, 2008

When BioMom Asks You To Lie (Part II)

Since we could not get a hold of Maleficent and speak with her directly (Prince Charming did reach her faithful companion, Diablo, who told him it was a ruptured ovarian cyst that required surgery and Maleficent was currently in the recovery room) I told Cinderella that her Mom wasn't coming due to a combination of the icy roads and her not feeling well.
Cinderella was crushed.
Instantly she began to stress...
Will she come and get me tomorrow? Who is taking me to my play tomorrow? Will Mommy be there for the performances?
I did my best to play it down as no big deal, and even joked with her about stressing too much, and that she can ask all of this when her Mom calls later on.
Maleficent did call that evening and told Cinderella she was, in fact in the hospital.
We now understood that Maleficent wanted to be the one to tell her.
Prince Charming and I were relieved and proud of Maleficent for having faith that Cinderella could handle the news.


Later on, I tried talking with Cinderella about the situation. I wanted to make sure she understood what had happened and wanted to reassure her in case she had any questions.
I was sure she must be a little worried and scared over the thought of her Mom having surgery.
I also thought she might be confused over the procedure.
Oh, no. I understand what happened to Mommy. She had a cyst on her hip, like the one she gets on her wrist and her doctor sent her to the hospital for testing. It's not like she had surgery or anything.

Umm... WHAT?!
I thought SURELY she misunderstood what her Mom had told her. But then I quickly realized that Maleficent had LIED to Cinderella. I caught myself just before I corrected her.
So we were back to square one. Having to keep a new lie.
I said nothing. I simply smiled and walked away.
Maleficent was to be in the hospital for the remainder of the weekend. She would not be able to take Cinderella for the weekend OR see the play.
How were we going to explain THAT?


A New Beginning said...

'round and 'round.....

Sorry that it has started all over. Hopefully Cinderella will enjoy her performance regardless.

K&M.HappilyEverAfter said...

Oh gosh, I hate lies. I hate them. I hate having to remember what I can say and what I can't. I alway flub up.

Jill Davis Doughtie said...

We had a similar situation when Kathy, my stepkids' mom, had to go to the hospital suddenly for an emergency. There was day or so when I knew she was in the hospital with something that sounded like it was going to be serious and she asked me not to tell them about it at all -- to let her do it. That was such a hard thing to do. I was so tense. I didn't know when she was going to call them. She did, though, and told them basically what was going on while trying not to scare them. I was really grateful for that. But that 24 or so hours when I was freaking out inside and had to try to act normal -- that was pure torture.

Kids can sense when something is going on, and I think they can sense when they're not being told the whole story. Cinderella's mom is probably trying not to scare her, but I think it's scarier for kids to know that the grownups in their lives won't tell them what's really happening -- in an age-appropriate way, but still -- the truth. Mister Rogers was big on this, and I think he was right.