[While driving in the car on the way home from a family day trip]
Hansel: "Daddy, I'm going to kick you so hard in the nuts."
As one of my Twitter buds pointed out, it's better than "Are we there yet?"
Hansel: "Mommy, why do you have a pirate on your underwear?"
Me: "Because I've got booty."
If I'm going to have an audience while peeing, I might as well offer a little entertainment and practice my stand-up. (Not to be confused with standing up.)
Hansel: "Mommy, I want to climb you like a Kinkajou!"
Me: *chuckling* "A wh-ha-at?"
Hansel: "A Kinkajou. It's an animal that climbs trees and has a long tail and is tan."
Me: "Oh. Ok. It is like a monkey? Or a bear? Or a cat?"
(I am totally humoring him at this point and his five year old imagination.)
Hansel: "Well... it's kinda like a monkey and like a cat."
Me: "Oh that's interesting. And where does this animal live?"
Hansel: "In the rainforest."
(It's important to point out that he is climbing across my outstretched legs like some arboreal creature the entire time he is describing his animal to me.)
And you know what? He wasn't making it up.
Go Diego, Go!