Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Getting Along: Handling Misunderstandings

Hi, it's Me.
"Hi. Thanks for calling. I'll keep it quick since I know you are on your way to get Cinderella and I have the Kids here with me."
She called me as she promised she would. The phone call was a week overdue but better late than never.
I had spent the last seven days being angry. Too angry to try to get things resolved myself. I was secretly hoping to avoid having to speak with Her altogether. Hoping that Hubby would be able to clear things up.
I realized that I needed to stop being an Ostrich so I seized the opportunity when she called the House that night. This had been festering long enough.
We needed to clear up the misunderstanding from last week.
A misunderstanding that started due to the poor communication skills of a borderline ADD 9 year old.
A misunderstanding that let to ASSumptions, an Accusatory voicemail and an Argument over speakerphone between she and Hubby while Cinderella and I sat dumbfounded over how something so simple could have escalated so easily.
"I think you have the wrong impression of me and I wanted to clarify since Cinderella left out some important details."
I told her that things were not as Cinderella had described. And that for whatever reason she hadn't communicated ALL of the facts to Her Mom.
She Appreciated the fact that I made the effort to clear the air. She Acknowledged that she had made a mistake. She Agreed to call me directly if something like this should ever happen again.
"In the future, all I ask is that you give me the benefit of the doubt. I'm really not that bad of a person once you get to know me."
She chuckles.
I know you're not. Believe me.
I'm trying to Believe her.


Kat said...

So, are you and the bio-mom going to form an alliance against the husband? I think that phone call was a huge step for you guys...and it sounds like it paid off big time. Good for you - and your family.

Dolfinnlover said...

Hey there must have been something in the water, since last week, we had a HUGE Miscommunication with our BM. I am glad you were the bigger person!

Ana said...

The worst part about stepmotherhood is the misunderstandings with the birthmama. I really struggle with it, because in the rest of my life I'm pretty good at communicating with other people. Somehow when it comes to my fiance's ex even the simple ends up twisted.