Friday, February 24, 2006

The Watcher

He is my constant Companion.
Ever vigilant in his watch He is never far from me as I go about my daily business.

From the moment I open my eyes each morning He is there to help me greet the day.
Mommy, it's morning so that means you have to get up.
I want breakfast, Mommy.
Each and every statement is punctuated with my name.
While feeding The Mouse.
Can I have a snack, Mommy?

Doing the dishes.
Wanna play Mommy?
In the shower.
Though here his words are muffled by the running water. The acoustics of the tiled walls making his voice sound like a
Charlie Brown cartoon.
Still, his punctuations manage to break through the veil of steam and vinyl.
Is my potty empty, Mommy?
Yes it is. Alas the previously
documented success has taken a slight detour.
Are you done, Mommy?
Can I open the curtain, Mommy?

I feel somewhat like Peter Pan however in my case this Shadow cannot be lost. The thread that keeps The Boy attached to me is stronger than any backstitch could ever hold.
As I head downstairs to throw a load of laundry in the wash and back upstairs to fold the clothes from the dryer.
Wait for me Mommy I want to help.
With every step I take. Room to Room. Upstairs and Down. I hear the soft shuffle of his little feet behind me.

In the bathroom. While doing the dishes. Getting dressed. Blogging.
Can I come too Mommy?
What He doesn't realize is that I too am watching.
Watching him become more dependent on me for entertainment.

Watching as he desperately tries to get my attention by regressing in his potty training. He has learned that he can pull my focus away from The Mouse by going in his Training Pants instead of his Potty.
What he hasn't learned is that his Mother was a psychology major in college and so the concept of negative reinforcement is not a foreign one and so HA!
Still, I watch him as he watches me.
And when my sanity patience is wearing thin and I have run out of places to hide, I remind myself of the words of
Anna Quindlen knowing that soon I will watch him head off to preschool where he will rediscover his independence make new friends and dazzle his teachers.
And that then I will miss being watched.

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