Custody & Visitation: The Downward Spiral

Hindsight is 20/20.
I should have posted something about Mother's Day if for no other reason so that my first post for this week would have been about something positive instead of the tediously-frustrating-never-ending-bullshit-drama involving Maleficent and Prince Charming and the loathsome Custody. And. Visitation. Stipulation. A document that I have read more times than my own wedding vows. A document that I hate.
(The only thing that keeps me sane is knowing that Maleficent hates it more. Neener-neener!)
Prince Charming should have taken a different approach with Maleficent. Taking a consistent stand with the Rules put in place at the courthouse almost a year and a half ago. As Sandra so brilliantly commented:
"Just like a toddler clear limits have to be set. Once she sees over time and with tons of consistency that nothing is going to bend or budge in her favor...then the BS will stop. "
(You hit the nail right on the head with that. Talk about a lightbulb moment for both P.C. and myself!)
Instead, to his credit as much as our detriment, P.C. tried giving Maleficent the benefit of the doubt. Hoping against hope that she was as committed as he was to Keeping the Peace. And making things work. So he gave in to her every request for extra time.
He's realizing he was wrong.
Maleficent continues to disregard court orders.
Continues to ask forgiveness instead of permission.
To make up her own rules, and direspect Cinderella's rights.
P.C. attempted to lay down the law last month but caved.
He's now attempting it again.
His efforts are currently being met with passive-aggressive avoidance and spitefulness.
She's refusing to answer his calls. Dictating now that all communications are to take place in email only.
(I read that little nugget this morning. Before I even had my coffee.)
Maleficent was supposed to pick up Cinderella from her after-school program yesterday.
A day not cited in the original Visitation document but that P.C. has been allowing b/c he is nice like that. It's also a day she is losing come next week when P.C. enforces the schedule as it's been layed out in the Document From Hell.
Pick up usually takes place at our home. Scheduling conflicts prevented me from being home at the designated time and I am finished being accommodating.
Maleficent does not respond well to not getting her own way and was not happy with P.C. telling her when and where she could get Cinderella. Instead of making the most of an extra day with her Daughter, she called Cinderella AT SCHOOL yesterday to tell her she woudn't be coming to pick her up.
Maleficent did not notify Prince Charming or myself of her decision.
Cinderella was effectively abandoned at afterschool program without any means of getting home yesterday.
Luckily, I was there and she found me before I left to come home.
Today is a normal visitation day. Maleficent will be coming later this afternoon to pick up Cinderella at our home. I am trying to disengage from the rage of emotions I am currently feeling in order to ensure a pleasant interaction.
I am dreading what's to come.
And struggling with trying to find a way to preserve some civility with Maleficent.

Custody & Visitation: Where "Keeping the Peace" Means "Giving In"

I shouldn't be surprised. But I am.
He called Her.
She told Him what he wanted to hear.
He caved.
All in the name if Keeping the Peace.
Prince Charming decided to allow Visitation to go back to what's been in practice for the past year, not what was decided in court. (For.A.Reason.)
In spite of the lack of respect he's been showed.
In spite of my warnings.
In spite of the disparaging remarks Cinderella has had to endure and the pervasive attempts at Parental Alienation.
(And WHOOBOY! did that child get an earful of her Mother's vile verbal diarrhea over the weekend!)
In spite of it all.
Maleficent won. And I do mean Maleficent because Cinderella is not benefitting from extended time with her Mother. Not in this way. Not at the expense of her moral and psychological development.
I don't call him Prince Charming for nothin'.
He's a better man than I am. I hope this doesn't come back to bite him in the ass.
But I fear it will.