Well... the truth is, I broke it.
As wonderful and magical as it was to have my own special someone to love me and who wanted to take care of me every minute of every day, it was something I had to do. For me.
Stepping from one co-dependent relationship into another could not last.
(I knew this from the beginning. But I went with it and enjoyed and learned a lot in the process.)
I'm Transforming. Growing. Changing.
Learning about myself and life and love and all the stuff a soon-to-be-divorced woman needs to go through.
It sucks sometimes. And it's been in those sometimes that I've been grateful to have a special someone to lean on and support me when I needed it.
But being in a full-time committed relationship with someone else proved too difficult while trying to re-establish a relationship with myself.
How can I love another, when I am trying to love myself?
I've spent my life taking care of other people's emotions, and never learning how to take care of my own. Putting everyone else first and sacrificing my own needs to keep others happy.
Now it's my turn. I'm stepping into my own power and have slayed the rebound dragon. In the process I'm learning that this damsel doesn't need a Prince to rescue her.
She can do a pretty good job of saving herself.
“Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”
6 comments:
My friend it is a path that we each have to journey on during the transformation to become our authentic selves.
It is one hell of a roller coaster ride...I have dealt with a few dragons myself.
@AnnOhio
Well written and moving. It's never easy, but in realizing that we have to be ok with ourselves before we can be with someone else, we can move on.
Hell, I'm still working on me and the relationship w/ my partner after 11 years. Guess it's always an ongoing thing.
@jooblie
Divorce is really hard. I'm not going to lie. I wish it on no one and I'm sorry you are going through it at this time. Best wishes to you and your future!
When you find that balance of self love and seize all the serenity life has to offer because you can, not because you are trying to please anyone, not because you feel the need to have someone and not because of any old fears that may pop up and make you feel afraid to be alone, then you will be ready, little wicked one. Then rebounds will disappear and the true Prince can walk into your life.
Take your time, heal, and learn to walk the honest path. Then you will wake up with a smile that brushes your lips and greets the day ... because joy will fill your heart with the kind of serenity only self love & balance can bring, and by default you will begin to step away from anything that doesn't walk the positive path toward a healthy life.
Name your dragons, they're now your pets. Tame them, dear one.
Patience while you grow.
...and perhaps a good vibrator,
xoxo
*hugs*
your fgm
I don't think you're whiny. I think you're growing and my heart is so happy for you, your children and your life to see you open to the realities that healing can bring.
Now hush and allow yourself to find the path of truth. At times it may feel frustrating or even frightening, but always know you are never alone. Ever.
xoxo
Your FGM
One day, hour, minute at a time. There is no rush. Enjoy this time to yourself, discovering who you are, what you like, what you want and how you want it. The more you know yourself, the easier you can help others get to know you when you're ready.
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