Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Loaded Question

Gretel: Mom can you have a baby?

Me: *stares at her blankly* (Oh crap.)

Gretel: Mom can you have a baby so I can be the Big Sister?

Me: Honey, you need a Daddy to have a baby.

Gretel: Well, Hansel can carry it, Mom and we can drive over and then he can hand it to Daddy and then Daddy can take it and carry it into his house.

Me: Oh, you're talking about when you VISIT Daddy?

Gretel: Yeah!

(Why I didn't let this conversation die RIGHT HERE is beyond me.)

Me: Well baby, what I mean is that you need both a Mommy and a Daddy to MAKE a baby.

Gretel: You MADE me?

Me: Yes.

Gretel: Daddy and you MADE me?!

Me: Yes.

Gretel: Daddy helped you to MAKE me?!?!?!

Me: Yes.

Gretel: How?

(Oh crap.)

Me: Well there's a cell in Daddy's body and a cell in Mommy's body and they need to be put together so a baby can grow in my tummy.

(Crap!. Now she's going to ask me HOW do the cells come together and get into my tummy!!!! Shut up NOW woman and stop answering this kid!! Distract her with Halloween candy or something!)

Gretel: Mom, he can help! You can text Daddy and he can come over and help you.


So glad I didn't put an end this conversation prematurely. I haven't laughed that HARD in a long time.


misty said...

Thanks for the laugh!

The Step In Mom. . . said...

hahaha. My SS just had sex ed at the end of 5th grade. He goes "Women have vagina's and there is an egg in there. And if that egg doesn't get fertilized once a month, their vagina bleeds. THAT IS GROSS!!"

Noah's blog said...

LOVE IT!!!! This made my day

Anonymous said...


Just stopping by to say hi. Yours was one of the very first blogs I read, and it intrigued me to no end.

Wishing you happiness, today and every day!

wickedstepmommy said...


Anonymous said...

hahaha that was great! I enjoy your blogs!

Anonymous said...

Mine asked me for a baby sister (she doesn't have one yet, at either house)...or a baby brother would be okay... And when I said no to that, she asked me to have a puppy.

LOL. Apparently, mommies and daddies TALK about having babies, then they go to the hostable (her misspelling, not mine) and have a doctor put the baby in her tummy. Then voila, magic happens, and it's an instant baby.