Friday, March 13, 2009

Yes, Magic Grits Exist Fairytales Too

Maleficent: Bring your bathing suit this weekend because I have a free swim pass.

Cinderella: Ok, Mom. Oh, no... wait. I can't. I have my period.

Maleficent: Oh, that's ok. You can still swim, the bleeding stops in the water.

***

Umm...
WHAT?!?!?
Is she fecking KIDDING me???
I wanted to call Maleficent on the phone and issue a My Cousin Vinny-esque cross examination:
"So, Maleficent, how is it that your vaj does not bleed in pool water when the same can not be said for the entire menstruating world?
I guess the laws of physics cease to exist in your girly bits (just as the laws of reason cease to exist in your melon). Do you have a magic vajayjay? Is your Aunt Flo the same broad who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?"

I refrained, cuz you know how I like to take the high road and all.
But, you can bet your ass I did NOT let Cinderella leave this house with a bathing suit in hand.
Cuz... EWWW.

9 comments:

Layne said...

If this were true, I'd be in the pool 3 to 5 days a month even in the winter...

loonyhiker said...

I'm with you on the EWWWWW! Maybe a warning needs to go out to the pool so they know that she is doing/saying this!

dragonmctt said...

OK, after reading that, I now feel I must take a shower - yuck!

Just Me :) said...

Wow! just Wow!

Crafty and Crap said...

my mother used to say the same and um yeah, no! I love Layne's response!

Anonymous said...

Actually, as a long-time swimmer, I felt I should pipe in with maybe what biomom meant:
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/0629.html

Wicked Stepmom said...

Anon -

Thanks for the link. My own research only turned up sites that say flow does NOT stop in pool water. You must have found the only like to support M's claim! LOL

However...

Being a long time internet user, I also know better than to believe everything I read on line. ;) So my decision to not let Cinderella bring her bathing suit to her mother's was based on my own personal experience. And in my experience, pool water does NOT stop the flow - only dilutes it to make you think it's not there.

If her mother had her own pool, then it would be less of an issue. But I could not in good conscience condone her going swimming in a PUBLIC pool.

Syn said...

I was actually told that it stopped in water too so I looked it up. There are different thoughts on it when I googled.


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080808091708AA8dKGQ

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Does_your_period_stop_while_your_in_water

Like some of these people have said, when I would take a bath, it seemed to stop and then come back with a vengeance when I'd stand up in the tub to get out.

I'm not a swimmer though and wouldn't get into a public pool on the period no matter if it did stop or not. It just doesn't seem clean.

superwoman said...

roflmmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!