Monday, January 26, 2009

Have You Ever Been Told...

... that your stepchildren look *just* like you?

Cinderella has your eyes.
Oh I could tell you were here for Cinderella. She looks just like you!

You must be Cinderella's Mom. You and she have the same coloring.

It cracks me up that people will see what they want to see with our children.
People who DON'T know that there is no biological relationship between us and just assume, by very presence, that there MUST be.
Secretly, I like it. Not just because they unknowingly STICK IT to Maleficent, but also because it reaffirms my efforts at creating a unified home, free from the toxic mine-VS-yours, us-VS-them, step VS bio VS half attitudes.
Others don't see it.
And I LOVE that.
All they see is a family.
Parents and children.

As it should be.


Anonymous said...

I get told ALL THE TIME that my SS looks like me...and she REALLY does...nice to hear that to the rest of the world we can apear to be a "family" when there are so many times other people try to squish that feeling.

Idyllic Youth said...

i always get told the same thing about my sd. she'll affirm that i am her mommy to strangers and she's not yet 4 yrs old.

loonyhiker said...

My daughters (who are steps, only we don't use that word) always looked more like me than my husband. We all had long hair and glasses. They always got a kick out of people telling us how much we look alike (especially since I'm Chinese and they aren't!) LOL

Jen said...

Yep. All my SK look like me and my bio-son looks just like them too. In fact, my husband's family even agrees that they look more like me than their bio-mom. We all have dark hair dark eyes, olive skin. Their Mommie Dearest is blond hair with light eyes. And yes, I totally love that we look similar and our family values don't promote the seperation either!

Lylah M. Alphonse said...

My stepkids look like me, too. I love it.

-- Lylah

Chickie said...

People say that LittleBrother and I have the same nose. I just say, "thanks".

Meritt said...

They might not see what they *want* to see - it's possible you share similarities. :)

My good friend K was adopted after her parents had 2 bio-kids. Her two brothers took after the Mom but my friend - NO blood relation at all - looked exactly, like the spitting image of her father.

She's always heard she looks just like her Dad... and she does! Even though she's adopted. LOL.

Smirking Cat said...

I am surprised I have been told that, because I am dark and all the kids have blonde hair! But we have picked up each other's mannerisms and habits, and I think that is what people are seeing as similarities.

Tracy Lee said...

I was a step child (well, adopted by my step-dad, only father I ever knew) and I never really realized how good I had it and how much different it could have been until I had my first child. We were at a family birthday party for my cousin's baby, my Dad's family were everywhere. My Dad's mother turned to me while looking at my son and said, "He has the Holm (my adoptive last name) nose."

It didn't hit me at first, but when I realized it, I was bowled over. Here is the mother of my adoptive father saying that a trait of my son's was the same as in her family. That totally blew my socks off when I really understood what she said. I don't think she ever realized what that meant to me, but I did thank her for letting me be such a complete part of the family.

It should make you feel good. :)

Anonymous said...

I secretly love it as well! I think my step-daughter might too. Rarely do I take the time to explain that they are not my children, that I am JUST their step-mom. Usually I just smile and say thank you.