Tuesday, December 26, 2006


[November 2006. 10pm.]
Outlook alerts me that I have two new emails. The emails indicate that I missed two phone calls and there are two messages waiting for me in voicemail. The caller ID shows The Husband's cell phone number.
I click on the attachments. Windows Media Player launches. I listen.
Voicemail #1: Hey wife, Guess what???? No, you're just going to have to answer to find out. I'll call back in a minute.
Voicemail #2: Umm, wife? I'm trying to call you but you're not answering. I have someone here who wants to talk to you. Umm... his name is, umm... Bono.
Huh? Sonny Bono is dead.

Wait a minute...
[Hit Pause. Rewind.]
I have someone who wants to talk to you. Umm... his name is, umm... Bono.

No. That can't be right. Could it?
[Pause.] [Rewind.]
Umm... his name is, umm... Bono.
Realizing my husband's flair for mutilating the English language I come to conclusion that he is indeed mispronouncing the name and he is in fact referring to the lead singer of one of my favorite bands EVAH.

Frantically I pick myself up off the floor up the phone and proceed to WAR DIAL Husband's cell phone for the next FORTY FIVE MINUTES while pacing the office floor and sending a flurry of IMs to my girlfriend while cursing said husband both outloud and via IM for not PICKING UP. WHY IS HE NOT ANSWERING? WHERE THE FUCK IS HE FOR CHRISSAKE?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Where is he?

At a meeting in the city.
With Bono?
Husband finally calls me back and confirms that after his meeting he was dragged to some event where he was introduced to B.O.N.O.
I'm so sorry hon. He was right here, with my cell phone in his hand all ready to say "Hello."
That's ok. But he could have left a message. That would have been cool.

Seriously, if there EVER was a ever a better opportunity for the lead singer of the band who recorded Vertigo to leave a witty phone message THIS. WAS. IT.
I can still hear it play out in my head: Hello, Hello! Hola!
I mean COME ON! It would have been classic.

But whatever.

Oh and hon? It's a good thing I didn't talk to him b/c I would have totally ratted you out for mis-pronouncing his name.

[Fast forward. Christmas Morning.]

I open this.

iPod nano (PRODUCT) RED.
(If you don't know about the
Join (RED) campaign and what it's doing to help fight HIV/AIDS in Africa click here and educate yourself. And then go buy something.)
Husband encourages me to remove it from it's package and take a closer look.
On the back I find this.

The hows and the whys are not important. What's cool is that He indulged my husband not once but TWICE. And while a phone call would have been AWESOME, his autograph totally makes up for it. I got me the coolest Hubby EVAH.
But what's even cooler is that I feel like I am helping. In some small way, I have helped someone in Africa who is dying from HIV/AIDS because they couldn't afford the two pills a day required to treat a disease that kills over 5,000 Africans every day.
This nifty little applet tells me that my purchase will generate enough money so The Global Fund can provide someone living with HIV in Africa one month of anti-retroviral medicine.
So go buy (RED) products. So they can get the pills.

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