Sunday, July 25, 2010

14

Cinderella turns 14 tomorrow.
I have not seen or spoken much with her in two months since she and Prince Charming moved out, but I realized that I cannot will not let another milestone go by without acknowledging it in a way that lets her know I am still here for her.
I missed her graduation by my own choice. Driven by my own insecurities. Feeling like I was not wanted. It was a mistake that I don't plan on repeating.
A recent commenter reminded me that my presence in her life is necessary. And while I cannot control her reaction to me or our situation, I can control how I handle it. I can still reach out to her and let her know I am still here. I still love her.
I understand this is a confusing time for her. And so, even if she rejects my efforts, I will still hold out hope that I am reaching her in some way. Reassuring her that she has not lost me, and that she can still count on me to be there no matter what. Maybe one day she will reach back.
I plan to seek her out tomorrow at the camp she is going with her brother and sister, and give her a pewter bracelet for her birthday. The outside is inscribed "Today I Believe..."
On the inside: My possibilities are endless.

Today I Believe... that the possibilities for my relationship with Cinderella are endless, as is my determination.

5 comments:

cheri said...

good luck, WSM! I hope your gift is received with the same unwavering love as it is given.

The Step In Mom. . . said...

Good luck! Even is she doesn't understand/can't reciprocate, as she grows up she will see that you were always there for her, and willing to help.

April said...

I cannot imagine how difficult your situation must be...and Cinderella's as well. I don't blame you for being scared to be there at her graduation, and I think it takes courage to stand up and show her love despite everything that happened between you and her father. I think that children often don't even appreciate their bio-parents until they are well into their 20's, sometimes 30's or older, so it's only natural for it to be even harder for Cinderella to understand and know how to recipricate your love for her. I admire you for not giving up, though. She's part of your heart, now.

JPO said...

I have a friend who continued to reach out to his step-son for 5 years until one random day he got a call from the now teenager who asked him to meet him for lunch.

Now, there relationship is restored and they speak every week. It's not fair for the child to have to loose you too in the divorce.

I think it's great what you are trying to do.

Anonymous said...

Being a stepparent is a selfless act, I never expect anything in return. Its hard you get slapped so many times but you do it because your giving the right kind of love, Selfless love. Well done WSM you did good.