Monday, May 17, 2010

If There Was A Castle Bulletin Board

It'd let you know...

  • I am on the road to gaining some sort of financial independence. I have:
    - Started selling Avon. *ding! dong!*
    - Sold my first cake! I was commissioned to bake a birthday cake for a 6 year old birt bike rider. :)
    - Started working at a Holistic Wellness Center, which then led to two side jobs with some practitioners at said wellness center.  YAY!

  • I've signed up for a 16-week Women's Group as a way of figuring out this next chapter in my fairytale. I've defined myself over the past ten years as a Stepmom and Second Wife. I am much more than that. I just need a little help finding her.

  • Prince Charming and I have attended a few mediation meetings and they have gone pretty well. We seem to agree on the issues of custody/visitation and support. But our progress has come to a SCREECHING halt now that Maleficent is suing him for full custody of Cinderella. Yes, our pending divorce is being exploited and we are he is once more distracted by his ex. His preliminary court date is set for the end of this month. I am trying not to get sucked in emotionally and stay focused on what *I* need to do to get my life in order. It's hard not to be distracted when I've allowed so much of my life to be defined by Maleficent.

  • To that end, Prince Charming has informed me that he has secured a separate residence for he and Cinderella to live. Obviously, one can't argue that they are capable of taking care of their child full-time if said child is still being left with their stepparent half of the time. While the prospect of not having to commute back and forth between our home and my mother's is appealing, the reality of our current financial situation stops me from doing the happy dance just yet. We can barely afford the ONE house we live in now, it will take a fair amount of magic fairy dust to make a second home possible. He is moving out post haste and leaving me with a pile of unpaid bills.

  • I've seen a fair number of antagonistic and bitter anti-Stepmom comments lately.  And I am reaching the point of being fed up with them. But I am also mature enough to realize that BioMoms are probably equally as fed-up with whiny Stepmom blogs that drone on and on about BMs obnoxious and antagonistic behavior. So I guess we've proven the point as to WHY such blogs and comments persist, haven't we ladies? For what it's worth, I do advise that the haters out there take a little more time to learn about MY personal situation and get all of the facts before they fire off their virtual bitch slaps. I can take constructive criticism from those who take the time to read (reading IS fundamental, afterall)... but ignorant blasts do not deserve (nor will they get) a reply.

    (Why do the trolls always surface around Mother's Day? Could it be insecurities surrounding their children wanting to honor their Wicked Stepmom's on this day too, I wonder? Hmm... food for thought.)

  • While on the subject of Mother's Day, and in an ironic twist of fate, Cinderella did not acknowledge me in any way this year. For the first time in ten years neither she nor Prince Charming made the effort. Yes it hurt. And yes I can understand why this has come about. But no I do not think it deserving And I am sure the trolls from the above bullet point are doing their own little happy dance over this personal admission. I'm feeling as if I am being told I need to let go... but how does one let go of a child they have nurtured and cared for since they were a toddler?

This week's mantra: Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.

    3 comments:

    stepmumoftheyear said...

    Haters are just people who get their pathetic insecurities out over the internet, where they can inflict the greatest possible hurt with the minimum exposure.

    I bet they are the same people who would whinge and whine over an undercooked steak in a restaurant but never be assertive enough to send it back.

    You have so obviously been a great stepmother to Cinderella, but now your changed circumstances are making you a bigger target.

    Fuck 'em and their cruddy spelling and grammar, I say.

    mistystarr said...

    I have sold Avon before. It is fun but can be exasperating as well at times. To do well, stay organized, find lots of customers, and include good samples to maintain your customers loyalty.Good luck!
    Forget about the haters. They don't know you. You are going through a difficult time already and I imagine it has left you more sensitive, but you will come out stronger in the end. Good luck with that too! I love your blog, keep writing!

    crabapple said...

    i've worn many hats - step-daughter, ex step-daughter, now mother and step-mother, i feel i have seen and lived many facets of blended families.

    my father and step-mother (SM) were married for nearly 20 years (i was 12 when they got married). our blended family consisted of step-mom, dad, brother (8 at time of marriage), step-brother (6 at time of marriage), step-sister (12 at time of marriage) and me.

    all of kids called our parents mom and dad. everything was great! we kids were very fortunate that our step parents and all of our bio-parents got along very well.

    however, when my step-sister and i were in high school there was no doubt a huge shift in my relationship with my SM. i'm not sure why it happened, or how it happened. and really, now, it doesn't really matter much other than i know now, being a SM, how important of a figure she was to me growing up. even through the divorce and the little contact we have had over the last 15+ years, she was still incredibly instrumental in my life!

    i use examples of our relationship, the good and bad, in how i choose to parent my step-kids.

    i didn't quite acknowledge her impact in my life until a few weeks ago when my step-brother passed away. mourning his loss, even though we were no longer "siblings" nor had we had any type of relationship in the last 15+ years, he was still my brother and i mourned the loss of my brother and loved her again as my mother.

    i have been working on a letter to her to let her know that even through all the adversities we have had, i greatly appreciate what she did for me.

    being a mom is hard freakin' work, but i really think being a step-mom is a whole helluva lot harder!

    i've read your blog for quite some time now, and wish all the best through this difficult time.

    oh and i guess the point of my comment is to just say that cinderella knows what you have done for you and will know what you continue to do for her. and as a kid, she just doesn't yet recognize all you give her (heck, i didn't even see how much my own parents gave me until i was much older). just know that you will always be a part of her and will always be in her memories.