Hello, you've reached the Winter of my Discontent.
The dichotomy of my life at present is starting to become monotonous.
Prince Charming and I have worked out a temporary shared custody schedule while we try and sort out a formal separation agreement to file.
(At the time of this writing, "sort out" means ignore all attempts to move towards this goal AT ALL COSTS. Whatever.)
Living under the same roof wasn't doing me any good and only adding to the tension and resentment.
(Several weeks of sleeping on the couch will have that affect even on the most wicked among us.)
We've been living apart now since July. Each of us spending 2-3 days at home alone with the kids, while the other stays somewhere else.
My somewhere else has been at my Mom's an hour away.
And while I am grateful to have my Mom to lean on, I'm starting to feel displaced. Homeless.
I'm tripping on my own two feet as I stumble through the sometimes-single-gal sometimes-estranged-wife dance.
I feel energized and hopeful half the time. My mother's house offers me respite, down-time, unconditional love and support.
But that is quickly washed away by the toxic environment of what has been our marital home.
My kids jubilant personalities do little to combat the negative energies that live within these four walls.
I struggle to get out of bed when I am here. Push myself to do the chores left behind, organize the disorder, remain the consistent parent my kids expect me to be.
I feel like a ping pong ball being smacked back and forth across the lines of a hopeful future and a bitter past.