Sunday, October 5, 2008

Here We Go Again

I don't know where to begin.
It's been five months in the making.
Five months since we found out Cinderella has three...THREE!!!!!... cavities.
Five months since we ponied up $400 for the dentist appointment that told us she had THREE cavities.
Five months since being told, AFTER we bent over and let the dentist stick it to us for $400, that Maleficent WOULD NOT BE PAYING her half of that bill.
Oh I'm sick and not working and can't afford it.
(Gee, ya think she would have mentioned that for the MONTHS leading up to that appointment?)
For five months Maleficent has been crying poverty, and unilaterally saying that she won't be able to pay her COURT ORDERED share of Cinderella's dental bill.
And yet for the same five months she has come up with a magical solution where she CAN pay another dentist to have said cavities filled.
She CAN work out a payment plan to pay this dentist.
Her dentist. Cinderella's OLD dentist.
But she CAN'T figure out a payment plan for PrinceCharming.
(Which could have worked out to $50 a month and would be payed off BY NOW.)
And she WON'T accept our saying that we CAN'T afford to absorb her half of the prior bill and that we were counting on that so that we CAN move forward and have Cinderella's cavities filled.
Instead she spent this time instilling fear into Cinderella with constant talks of how she will need root canal if her cavities are not filled and so she needs to tell her Dad and I that her TEETH HURT even though they don't but DO IT SO THEY CAN MAKE AN APPOINTMENT FOR YOU!!!!!!
The child was in tears as she confessed her Mom's covert op to us.
(We're so proud of her, BTW, for choosing NOT to lie to us about her teeth hurting just because her Mom told her to.)

So... now... we are back to one-sided communication.
Her refusing to answer or return calls.
Feigning illness as an excuse to return to email only communication.
Yet she is well enough to leave a threatening voice mail on Prince Charming's voice mail.
And now... tonight... an email threatening to violate him in court if a dentist appointment is not made by this Wednesday.

Shit-stirring bitch. She's at it again.
I am not sure I have the strength to another round.


Steve said...

You've made it through so much so far. You can make it through this too. Stick to your principles and put her and all of her drama out of your mind. It's hard sometimes but you can do it!

Sprite said...

Hope you kept her nasty voice mail. Breathe, honey. You and the Prince will have to, at times, just do what is best for Cinderella's well being & health because Cinderella deserves that. Just the fact that she told you the TRUTH shows the positive influence you have on her life. You know that wasn't easy for her.

You can't change M. or anything about her. Her issues & her need for drama are a part of her life & lifestyle. Aren't you grateful that you don't have to live under a cloak of denial as she is?

I'm sorry that you're having to go through this, but I totally understand. The ex's ex used to chronically pull shady, nasty or angry stunts all the time (and she was a working nurse who couldn't claim poor health).

Vent, vent, then find your way to gratitude because, at the end of the day, you'll never be a M, You know HOW to be a good mom & you Rock as a person! *hugs*

Idyllic Youth said...

I understand your utter distaste for this woman. We have our own maleficent. I need to come up with a good name for her. We pay for my step-daughter's medical and dental insurance 150 bucks a month (for just her) and her mother still tells us that when she needs to take her in she needs help paying the 15 dollar copays. Or else we hear about how bad we are that his daughter is sick and he won't do anything about it. And how she's too tired to work.

macocha said...

oh that sucks. I am sorry! I hate going around and around too! Hopefully things will work out...blah!

Meesha said...

Good lord, how frustrating! Hang in there.

My fiance pays quite a lot of money each month to my stepdaughter's mother. My stepdaughter wears hand-me-down clothes while her mother buys a new flat-screen tv, a new computer, a new car, etc etc. It's sooo frustrating to see. Luckily we haven't had to deal with too many medical/dental issues yet.

Medea said...

This sounds completely crazy - why is she so insistent on Cinderella going to *her* dentist and not any other? Is it really just about making PC as financially uncomfortable as possible?

So sorry you're having to deal with this. Lots of luck with it all.

Anonymous said...

That made my heart lurch. It is these sorts of setback which make it difficult to trust.

You make sense...if she can afford payments to her dentist office then she can afford to make those payments for services rendered from C's dentist office.

It's a black and white issue and don't see how she could turn it into an argument.

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain. Our version of M., who my husband and I lovingly refer to as "the Bitch", took our Princess to the dentist and had two of her baby teeth pulled because she had two small cavities!!! We had scheduled an appointment with her regular dentist, but apparently B. didn't feel patient that day or something.
We found out about it the day after it was done. Our princess told us that the two (small) cavities she had were gone, but so were the teeth.
B. then had the audacity to ask for half the money to cover having Princess's teeth pulled. Our Court Order states that those things are joint decisions, so B. is in violation and we pay dental insurance on our Princess, single surface fillings would have been free if B. would have talked to us or taken her to her regular dentist, all of this could have been avoided. And to top it off, she had to have space maintainers because those teeth weren't supposed to come out for several years. *hugs* Bless your heart, it could be worse

mathcutie said...

You're not alone. We just pay all my son's medical bills and never even approach Bio-Dad for $. It's just more aggravation than it's worth.

Kalle said...

One side communication is the worst. Don't they realize that we care and would like a say in or at the very least be informed of important life decisions? Total control method.

Dizzy said...

On one hand you make me grateful for the fact that my partner and his ex are both loving, caring, supportive parents. On the other, as my sister often says because of her own situation: sometimes it's easier to have an ex that you can hate together. I'm so impressed that you are able to be furious with M. instead of Prince Charming for your having to deal with all this. I'm not at that point. Was there some watershed moment when you got over resenting him for your giving and giving in ways you don't ask him to, since you didn't have kids from a prior relationship? Or were you always this level-headed and accepting of your choice to take on stepmotherhood?!

Wicked Stepmom said...

Dizzy -

Me? Level-headed?!?! No. Way.

It's not that I don't get pissed off at PrinceCharming for this situation - I just get pissed off less. ;) And my original understanding of what it would be like as a Stepmom couldn't have been farther from what it's actually been like.

I'm still learning. Every day. Learning my own limitations, finding my own voice, understanding my own needs and discovering patience and strength I never knew I had.

Blueydmuse said...

Been there, done that. My hubby spent $1200 two years ago getting his son's teeth fixed. And I'm so with you on your comment: "And my original understanding of what it would be like as a Stepmom couldn't have been farther from what it's actually been like."