Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Finding Common Ground REDUX

I had a lovely conversation with Maleficent a couple of weeks ago.
Yes, that's right... LOVELY.
(And yes, that's right a couple of WEEKS ago. We don't talk every day. We are not BFFs, but on those rare occasions when we do have to speak I try my damnedest to make it pleasant.)
It started with me apologizing for Cinderella being dropped off late from camp.
It wasn't my fault, of course. It was Prince Charming's. He picked up the kids and forgot it was Maleficent's visitation day, so wound up getting Cinderella to her Mom's an hour late.
Oh, it's fine. I was starting to get worried at first but then figured it *had* to be just that Prince Charming was dropping her off. And I know how he's always late.
He is our (sometimes) neutral ground. Just another tie that bonds us, as it were.
Ex Wife. Current Wife.
We have both dated him, lived with him and married him. 
We know his quirks, his habits - the good, the bad and the ugly.
And, during the course of this conversation, learned that we both developed the EXACT SAME tricks to deal with his idiosyncrasies. 
"OHMYGOD, you do that too? What about ...??"
Yep, done it all.
When we are able to share a laugh at my husband's expense, it breaks the tension.

Thanks, hon!


macocha said...

I am jealous of your ability to have any conversation with the ex! Good for you! Wish it was this way for all stepmoms! I doubt we will ever, and I stress the ever, get to that point or even remotely close! lol

Smirking Cat said...

It's good you can have conversations like that with her. How does your husband feel about the two of you talking about him? :)

Wicked Stepmom said...

Smirking - Oh he hates it, but maintains his sense of humor about it. At this point, it's the lesser of two evils!

macochoa - It's taken 10 years for us to get here. For 8 years, Maleficent and I had NO contact at all.

Anonymous said...


It's indeed brave for both of you. If hades freezes over and I were to have a conversation with the stepmother, the last topic I would discuss is her husband. That is a very dangerous subject for any mother to discuss with a SM, with no way of knowing how it could be received.

Glad you both you find the humor in it, just don't know if it's a typically safe topic for all.

The Ravenstahls said...

When the topic of the hubby comes up with the kids mom, we have also bonded at his expense a bit... he hates it too, and I used to feel very guilty, but as long as it stays vanilla, I don' think it hurts. If we can laugh together, that makes us a better team.