Thursday, April 12, 2007

Petty Woman

Sometimes I am Petty.
Sometimes I forget the Lessons I have learned and fall back on Old Habits.
Bad habits.
Habits that sometimes make me no better than Her.
Habits that I have been called on since I began journaling my experiences.
(Well, DUH! Did you honestly expect to get away with chronicling your Life and NOT get negative constructive feedback as well as support and empathy? Silly, rabbit.)
These habits are irritating. To them, of course. But also to me.

The Habits make me behave badly.
Usually evoking a tit-for-tat attitude with the ultimate goal of screwing Her out of time with Cinderella.
"She brought this on herself." "It's called accountability."
"It's not my fault she lost custody." "It's her fault."
This. Is. All. Her. Fault.

"You should [bark some order at Prince Charming telling him how to handle her and teach her a final lesson.]"
You're right. You're right. I know you're right.
But Old Habits die hard.
I haven't yet figured out completely how to Forgive and Forget.

Just when I think I've conquered it, I get sucked back down to the deepest depths of hatred and loathing.
GAWD! how I hate ex-wives sometimes.

The only thing I hate more is when I live up to my title of Wicked Stepmom.

How do we move beyond the pettiness... for good?


erinls88 said...

i've been reading your blog for awhile and this i relate to more than anything else!! i do it too. just when i think i have it all together and i have disengaged enough to conquer the issue...bam there i am hating BM even more than ever, telling my husband what to do and how to do it to stick it to her...
I feel like I literally live on a different planet than her and it's just soooo frustrating. I don't really know how to move beyond it for good, but even a little a time seems okay to me. 2 steps forward and only one step back will still ultimately get us ahead...


Jill said...

Oh my goodness, I can so relate to this. I am guilty. So very guilty sometimes. I justify it as being OK because I rarely voice my opinions out loud. I keep them to myself. I've thought some really nasty things about ex-wife to myself. And I am sometimes so pleased that I am so much better than her (I think). I've lived a life much cleaner and neater than hers (I think). And, I do tell my husband what he should do regarding her. Oh, my. You are so not alone in this struggle.

Dolfinnlover said...

OMG is there something in the air. In my situation I just think our priorities are different.... and I will leave it at that.

canape said...

And you know in the logical part of yourself that whatever you tell Prince Charming to do - it won't work. Because the two of you are not dealing with a rational person. Anything you do to try and combat the onslaught only makes it worse.

And you loathe her for giving you a reason to loathe her. Multiple reasons.

And the loathing does no good.

And then you realize that you are the only one who can move beyond the pettiness. You can't make her move beyond the pettiness. And it is so hard to deal with someone who is on the opposite side of petty without going back there yourself.

Oh wait.

This is your blog. Not mine.

Sorry about that. Just relating a little bit too much I guess.

Anonymous said...

Geez! I'm exhausted at all the peetiness between the BM and myself. And yes...she lives on another that I'd like to stay away from. The decisions she makes are from left field.....I've come to puttting up a fence around myself. Not knowing what each day will bring from her....decisions she has made that will affect my life without any regard for her ex-husbands life. How do you get past the hatred that you never knew you could feel for another person? I struggle daily to brush off the chip off of my shoulder.