Tuesday, March 21, 2006

How Do You...

... convince a terrified 3 1/2 year old that Preschool, which he has just started attending 2 mornings a week, really isn't that bad and to Please.Don't.Cry and BEG Mommy to take you home because she is breastfeeding and therefore an emotional wreck hormonally challenged and can barely hold it together as she tells you to Be Brave as she desparately searches for the moment where she can RUN AWAY from your mournful sobs into the sanctuary of her own car where she will BAWL all.the.way.home because OH MY GOD I am the worst mother ever for abandoning my Little Man at the evil, evil school.

::sigh::

What's a Mommy to do?

4 comments:

Dolfinnlover said...

I know what you mean, My daughter cried the first month or so of her tiny tots program, which she started attending after her sister was born.... Hang in there, She LOVES it now and will not miss it for the world. Just be strong in front of him and dotn feel as if you are being evil mommy~

Mary P. said...

I was a teacher for ten years before I was a daycare lady (been that for ten years). How do you do it?

KEEP IT BRIEF AND BE POSITIVE.

Never mind that the child is screeching and clutching at you. You smile, smile, smile.

Drop off goes something like this, then.

"NOOOO! MOOMMY!! DON'T GOOOOO!"
"Mommy's leaving now. I know you'll be fine." (Tone of voice light and upbeat.)

"NOONOONOONOONOOOO!"
"You'll be just fine. I'll see you later. Bye!" (Remember, you're not coaxing him to feel better - you're telling him you have complete confidence in him.)

Then you smile and leave. Most kids recover from mommy leaving within, oh, 94 seconds, and then they're just fine. Even those who take a little longer manage to have fun during the day. They do. :-)

Within three weeks, if you do this every day, he'll be leaving with a smile.

Really.

Wicked Stepmom said...

Mary: We're on week #3 now. The Boy is only going two mornings a week because we can't afford anything and my dad is footin' the bill as it is. His class has NO permanent teacher right now, so it's been a different person almost each day he's been there which is doing NOTHING for his transitioning, I feel. This morning I did try to keep it brief and remain positive. I'm not up to the "kiss and go" phase but I guess I need to work on that. When I pick him up, I've tried doling out the praise and tell him he should be proud of himself for being brave and sticking it out even though he might have been a little scared.

Thanks for the feedback. I was hoping you'd have some words of wisdom based on your own experience with daycare. :)

Anonymous said...

This is the situation. Husband 3 years 2 years of dating. 3 children, 2 girls 17 amd 12 boy 15. Ex -wife-jealous. Cannot make a relatidnship with another man work. Works part-time in a bar.WE pay child support for oldest two children, youngest lives with us. son comes to our house and takes information back to biomom, gives out info to get what he wants and intentionally starts fights between us and biomom.

We havent seen step son in 3 months since huge blow up with biomom and my husband. Step-son state to us on phone at he request of his mother that he"hates me and wants nothing to do with me.

The last 3 months have been wonderful no fighting, no uincomfortable moments. Pure bliss.

Now the step-son wants to visit. We are apprehensive. I have demanded that he and I go to counseling which my husband supports. Step son agrees to go. What now?

I have loved and treated this child as my own and I have been heartbroken over this. A simple "I'm sorry" just isn't going to fix this.