Friday, November 16, 2012

Coming Out

I'm bisexual.
She tells me as only a teen can. No segues, just a random let's-put-it-out-there-before-I-lose-my-courage kind of way.
Oh, and did I mention I WAS DRIVING AT THE TIME???
Seriously, Cinderella. Could you have picked a more dangerous tactic???
My mind swirled, the car swerved a bit.
I quickly re-gained control over both.
I asked her how she knew.
Maybe that's a naive question, but it's a valid one that any parent would ask when their child comes out to them. Right??
"Have you ever kissed a girl before?"
[A-HA! Now you see my point as to why I had to ask if she were sure????]

"Ok. And what about boys? Have you ever kissed one?"
Oh sure. Yeah.

[Wait... WHAT?????!!!!! I missed her first kiss? How the-fuck-come didn't she tell me????
Oh. Right. Ok. This isn't about me right now. *ahem*]

Again, I asked if she were sure she were bisexual.
Let's be clear. I am not homophobic. I want her to be happy. No matter what. And I don't want her to miss out on enjoying a meaningful relationship with either sex by getting caught up in some self-imposed label.
Being a teen is all about experimentation. Trying on different personalities, friends, and nowadays - sexual orientations. Boy. Girl. Or...whatever.
I don't care either way. As long as she is safe, and makes smart decisions, and is mindful of her behavior and her choices.
And this is what I tell her.
"Screw the labels. Have fun. Enjoy being a teen. Experiment. Try things on for size."
I don't think she was expecting me to say that.
But she was relieved...and a bit shocked.


Ashleigh said...

I think that was a great way to handle that! Its always hard to balance yourself when they say stuff like that to you! :)

Mommy said...

Thats awesome. When I became the step mom to my husbands four children the oldest was a daughter. I had figured out she was expermenting before she told me and her dad. So I had time to prepare dad for when she brought that first girl home. She told us she was bi and expected a big reaction and got "yeah we know". She was almost upset we did not react. that was almost six years ago and now she has been dating a Marine for the last year. So I think its alot about figuring themselves out. Thanks for sharig your story.....

Vince Stead said...

I just got done reading your article, and really enjoyed it, thank you. You can see some fun books at where you can also hear the girls read the stories for the same price as a paperback book, but they are reading exotic sexy stories that will get you going!