HIM [via text]: What is the plan for the kids going forward?
ME: I have no idea you are asking.
HIM: At this juncture, I don't think that I will be able to get / hold a job while trying to manage the kids during the week.
***
(Background Reminder: We currently have joint/shared custody. The kids spend Mon-Wed AM at my house; Wed PM-Fri at his house. We alternate weekends. I work when they are at their Dad's and/or when The Magic Mirror can watch them for me. PrinceCharming has them in FREE afterschool care when they are with him Wed-Fri so he can, in theory, work.)
Discuss.
10 comments:
Or titled: I don't want joint custody anymore but I'm not going to pay child support either.
Good luck.
He can't have his cake and eat it too! I would say, "Gee, I understand your pain, because I feel it too when I have them. But those are the responsibilities when you have children. I hope you find a way to work it out on the days you have them."
My husband (and I) used to have the kids every other night until his job required him to work in a different state (and now, a different country).
Now their mom has them during the week and they are with us during the weekend.
Some people have asked why he couldn't have found a job that kept him local; his response is that he needs to go where the money is so that he can pay his child support and the other bills that are incurred with the kids.
I don't understand why having them at night disrupts him from finding a job? Sorry you have to go through this but you are strong. You will make it work.
Seriously, I don't understand why when people have kids in a blended family, they think they can't work or that kids are an excuse NOT to work. WTF is wrong with these people?
And who says "manage the kids"...
I'm a biostepmom and have 2 kids of my own and one shared custodial stepdaughter. Basic his, mine and ours.
I will never understand why people make excuses. Just suck it up and be a parent. (not you)
I agree with your first commenter's title.
good luck.
My ex quite work so he could "be available at any time to be with they boys" and he only has them ever other weekend. After a year of unemployment he went back to school to further his degree in a field that he can't find work in and also one that doesn't value a masters degree anyway. Last week he told me he is too overwhelmed fanicalky, mentally and physically to take the boys as much as he currently does. And this is the man that felt he should have them a minimum of 50% of the time?!?!
coughcoughbullshitcoughcough.
I would tell him you would love to keep the kids if that is what he needs, but you will need it in writing and notarized before any changes are made and since he is doing this because he has to work, he will have to pay a firm amout of CS (also to be included in the documentation). Then hopefully you could work while the kids are in school? And is this "free after school care" available for you to take advantage of while the kids are with you?
I wouldn't agree to anything until he puts it in writing and agrees to have it notarized.
What a creep. Aren't you glad you're not married to him anymore?
Forgive me if I'm missing something! But... from the looks of it, you both are scheduled (yes, "scheduled" not necessarily how it works out) to have the kids equally right? 50/50? Then why is what he pays you called Child Support? Is it alimony? I can see alimony. But if both parents have the kids equally, then why does one parent get Child Support?
NOTE: This is NOT a judgement! I am sincerely just asking a question free of judgement.
Anon -
It was mutually agreed that since I was a SAHM for 8 years, with no income or savings of my own anymore, that he would contribute and help support our kids.
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