Monday, August 2, 2010

Fortune Teller

I'm ok with you and Daddy getting a divorce, Mom. Really. If you guys are happy then I am happy.
"You think Daddy & I are happier now?"
Oh, yes. Definitely happier.
"When were we not happy?"
When you were fighting.

It's been YEARS since we fought in front of the kids. Years since the door-slamming, plate/cup/remote control/engagement ring throwing, screaming matches that one time brought our neighbors to our front door to see if everything was ok.  Years since we vowed to stop subjecting our kids to that kind of emotional maelstrom that messes with their internal compasses.

My own True North was messed with as a young child as I witnessed my own parents' marriage fail and crumble into a million pieces before my eyes. Eyes which have now shut out memories of their own fighting but the disappointment over their inability to protect me from the harsh realities of life and who they really were as a couple remain. My insecurities about Love, Life and Marriage follow me like a dark cloud as a navigate the seas of this new life I am trying to create for myself and my kids.

Like Hansel, I was seven when my parents separated.
Like Hansel, I was equally as accepting of my parents' splitting.
Like Hansel, I *knew* it was the best choice for our family.

"History teaches everything including the future."
~ Lamartine
Like me, he is closed off to his true feelings and, like me, is seeing a therapist to help him move out of his head and more into his heart.
With any luck, we will rewrite our history and dive head first into a clear future.

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