Sunday, February 14, 2010

This Thing Called Love

On this day of Love, 
I've found myself  drawing upon the wisdom of Kahlil Gibran and his collection of essays from "The Prophet." 
This particular excerpt, which pertains specifically to Marriage, has always been one of my favorites and rings more true these days than ever before:

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.


Marion McDonald said...

Hi WS,

You don't have to answer, but I have to ask. Do you ever think that things might change between you and PC? I only ask because I was ready to leave mine and things got so bad that I moved out. But tonight I've hit rock bottom and he's been there for me 100% so that I'm so glad I didn't leave for good. It makes me wonder if you've been here already and the good times don't last, or if things could change for the better for you some time in the future? I never see my stepson anymore. Our "solution" is that I stay at mum's when he's here. Every two weeks I hate it but I don't see what else we can do. I found your blog when things started to break apart and it brought me such strength to feel someone else was in the same place as me. I was so sure I had to end things and now I'm so sure I was right to stay. I wonder how sure anyone can ever be?

Wicked Stepmom said...

Marion -

PrinceCharming and I worked hard at trying to make things work. In spite of our efforts, it boiled down to a simple case of incompatibility. We can no longer be the kind of partner the other one needs.

I do hope it turns out differently for you. I am happy to hear your husband can be there for you and offer the support you need.



Anonymous said...

I am so sorry that your fairytale has evolved to this point, although I could read between the lines of your husband's non-managing of the biomom situation that it wasn't going well.

I appreciate your take on this situation, since I am doing as much research on stepparenthood before I become one myself. I have been (and still am) the biomom for my children's stepmother (and in this case the tension is with her - they pretended that my life didn't intersect with theirs at all, and she did and still does criticize me to my daughters), so I can tell you what it's like from the biomom perspective - I hope, too, that knowing what it's like to deal with the biomom anxieties will make me a helpful stepmother.

Not that I am at all comparing my situation to yours, since I think you have been an exemplary stepmother.

My future stepchildren are less than thrilled with the situation since the biomom is very religious and thinks that divorce is a sin that will land you in hell - and that rubs off.

So this was longer than I'd meant it to be...thanks for writing, and know that you have an audience out there who appreciates your story.