Standing before him.
He was talking to me. Asking me questions. Reassuring me with his own responses.
But all I could do was think, "Holy shit. I am standing in front of this man with no shirt on and the girls
dangling hanging out there. And he is looking at me dead.straight.in.the.eyes."
I'm topless. And he is talking to ME and not my BOOBS.
Well of course he is, he sees them every day. It's no big deal to *him*.
It's only a big deal to you.
(And trust me, my boobs are no BIG deal which is WHY I am there in the first place.)
Before having children my figure resembled that of a prepubescent boy.
(Well... a prepubescent boy with a bit of boo-TAY.)
Calista Flockhart? Debra Messing?
Those chicks are fecking Dolly Parton compared to me.
Hello Great American Flatlands... meet your East Coast rival. My chest.
After two pregnancies and two years (cumulative) breast feeding I now have as my Stepdad affectionately called "woman curves."
South of the Border, that is.
So here I was talking to a plastic surgeon about breast augmentation.
Looking for a bit of balance to my curves.
"I don't want to look like Pamela Anderson. Or like I make my living getting up close and personal with a stainless steel pole."
(No offense, Josie.)
An hour and a half later we left our consultation after sufficiently grilling our HIGHLY qualified surgeon with our well-researched questions.
And here I am a month later with a surgery date scheduled for early June.
I have not yet decided how much of this journey will be documented here.
Not sure how many of you will care or if I want to go into that much detail about my boobies.
(Whatever I decide there will be NO before or after pictures. Pervs.)
But what I will say is that I am excited, relieved and anxious all at the same time.
I feel empowered for taking control of something that I have been talking about for twenty years. Just one of many things that I had always wanted to do *for myself* but never gave myself permission to do.
Then I saw this quote on the blog of one of my favorite social media gurus & Twitter friends, Jeff Pulver.
I didn't want to let another twenty years go by and regret not doing it.
No Regrets. That's my new philosophy.