I'm bisexual.
She tells me as only a teen can. No segues, just a random let's-put-it-out-there-before-I-lose-my-courage kind of way.
Oh, and did I mention I WAS DRIVING AT THE TIME???
Seriously, Cinderella. Could you have picked a more dangerous tactic???
My mind swirled, the car swerved a bit.
I quickly re-gained control over both.
I asked her how she knew.
Maybe that's a naive question, but it's a valid one that any parent would ask when their child comes out to them. Right??
"Have you ever kissed a girl before?"
Yes.
"WITH TONGUE?!?!?!"
Eww....NO!
[A-HA! Now you see my point as to why I had to ask if she were sure????]
"Ok. And what about boys? Have you ever kissed one?"
Oh sure. Yeah.
[Wait... WHAT?????!!!!! I missed her first kiss? How the-fuck-come didn't she tell me????
Oh. Right. Ok. This isn't about me right now. *ahem*]
Again, I asked if she were sure she were bisexual.
Let's be clear. I am not homophobic. I want her to be happy. No matter what. And I don't want her to miss out on enjoying a meaningful relationship with either sex by getting caught up in some self-imposed label.
Being a teen is all about experimentation. Trying on different personalities, friends, and nowadays - sexual orientations. Boy. Girl. Or...whatever.
I don't care either way. As long as she is safe, and makes smart decisions, and is mindful of her behavior and her choices.
And this is what I tell her.
"Screw the labels. Have fun. Enjoy being a teen. Experiment. Try things on for size."
I don't think she was expecting me to say that.
But she was relieved...and a bit shocked.
Winning!
2 comments:
I think that was a great way to handle that! Its always hard to balance yourself when they say stuff like that to you! :)
Thats awesome. When I became the step mom to my husbands four children the oldest was a daughter. I had figured out she was expermenting before she told me and her dad. So I had time to prepare dad for when she brought that first girl home. She told us she was bi and expected a big reaction and got "yeah we know". She was almost upset we did not react. that was almost six years ago and now she has been dating a Marine for the last year. So I think its alot about figuring themselves out. Thanks for sharig your story.....
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