Milestones Are Expensive

Pink rhinestone flowers.
Tres sparkly.
$40?!?!?!
Tres expensive!
She's lucky I love her.

(Oh yeah, and I forgot about the PARENT permission form that has to be filled out when taking a minor to have their ears pierced! Needless to say I was riddled with guilt over the fact that I am not TECHNICALLY her parent or LEGAL guardian as I scribbled my signature and initials and forked over my cash. YES I am a goddamn GOODY-TWO-SHOES and OHMYGOD Maleficent will gave a SHIT FIT if she gets wind of this! Then I realized that, UNLIKE her, I actually HAVE the permission of the LEGAL & CUSTODIAL PARENT, so my signature is as good as his. So she can have her shit fit. And she can bite me.)

Bittersweet Milestone: His First Tooth

His Big Sister was the one who first noticed when this tooth came in.

He was just 5 months old at the time.

Five years later, it fell out at the breakfast table for us all to share.

All but one of us. 

Cinderella was visiting her Mom that weekend.

Her empty chair made the moment bittersweet.

That is, until she came home that night and he could tell her all about what happened.

Then the circle was complete.

Milestone Rewind

Indulge me for a minute and pretend... for now, that it's last Sunday.
March 30th.
Are you with me?
Ok. Great.

*ahem*

OMG! Internet!
You won't believe what *just* happened. RIGHT NOW. At the BREAKFAST table!

(The SUNDAY breakfast table in case you forgot what day of the week we are on. Pretend I am Oprah or Ellen or one of those talk show hosts who pre-records their shows. K?)

Hansel has JUST lost his FIRST tooth! Gah!
It's been loose for about a week. He proudly announced and showed it to me after getting off the school bus last Monday.
Panic ensued. My [former] Stepmom, his Nanny, bought him this last month.
(Isn't it cute? And the personalized letter from the tooth fairy is preshus!)
"Oh you can hold on to it for a while. His tooth is only slightly loose so it could be several months before it's loose enough to fall out. No need to rush over here to get it to us. There's plenty of time."
Yes, clearly I am new at this.
Like I said, PANIC ensued. I grab the phone, run into Gretel's room, close the door and crouch down behind her rocking chair to make the secret call.
"OMG WE NEED THE PILLOW NOW NOW NOW IT'S GONNA FALL OUT AND THE TOOTHFAIRY CAN'T COME WITHOUT IT AAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
Pillow is dropped off Monday night followed by daily phone calls for the rest of the week asking "Did it fall out yet????"
*sigh*
When it finally fell out, we were eating this. We JUST sat down to eat this for breakfast a mere MOMENTS AGO and I was about to ask Hansel how his tooth was when he suddenly exclaimed that it JUST FELL OUT!!! as he spit it into his hand and then flashed a bloody smile filled with mushy monkey bread and a gaping hole between his lower right and remaining central incisor.
YUM! Eat up everyone!
After several moments of oohing and aahhhing we sent him to the bathroom to wash up and admire his missing tooth in the mirror while I quickly retrieved the hidden tooth fairy pillow from our closet and left it along with the letter on his pillow.
He's JUST found the pillow and his reaction was is classic!

Yes, there are pictures. And a little video as he read his letter.
But they are ... umm... on my camera.
So, let's pretend that it's SATURDAY and this momentous milestone hasn't happened yet so how could I possibly have any pictures to show you. You silly internet.
K?
But WAIT till you see what I have to show you tomorrow!! You won't believe what's ABOUT TO already HAPPENed in the castle!!!

Oh, and just out of curiosity, what's the Tooth Fairy's going rate nowadays for a FIRST tooth?

Because I Am a Lazy Wench

Oh, you mean I was supposed to post about Hansel's preschool graduation last week and how I cried the moment I saw his teacher leading a classmate (not him!) by the hand into the classroom and then again at her 1.5 second speech in which she referred to them all as "my babies" and then choked up herself?


Ok. Well I cried.


They wore caps of red, white and blue. Hansel's was white.
They showed us how to count to 12 in sign language.
They sang songs apparently complete with hand movements but which I could not see because every other parent was STANDING IN FRONT OF ME taking pictures of their kid forcing me to hold my camera blindly in the air like some paparazzi hoping to catch some newsworthy photo.
I did manage to catch the moment he was given his diploma.

Not bad, eh?
And yes, his cap is on SIDEWAYS! Seriously, whatthehell?!
But I fixed it for this picture.

He was so proud. And apprently, as I've found out this week, had no clue that he would not be going back to preschool.

(Oh yeah, and our school district sucks ass at scheduling. Cinderella's graduation from 5th grade was the same day. So Prince Charming missed Hansel's ceremony and I missed hers.)