A Classic First

Some things you can watch over and over, like your kids experiencing "It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown!" for the first time. (October 2007)

Joy

A joy shared is a joy doubled.

 

Reason #532 Why I Love Winter Recess

Gretel: HEY... smell my fingers!

*sniff*

Hansel: EWW! Gross... I know that smell!

Breaking Gender Stereotypes

Showing his school spirit by wearing PINK, along with the rest of the 2nd Graders, for "Grade Color Day."
Mommy's shirt. Gretel's hair gel. (He was especially psyched about that.)
Chicks dig guys who aren't afraid to wear pink.
My guy has no fear.

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree

Watch Our Mario Andretti

Hansel entered his FIRST car for his FIRST Pinewood Derby!
Do you like the graphics? Hansel did them all by himself (with a little help from Prince Charming).
His race is this Sunday. Wish him luck!

What Does a SAHM Do All Day?

Strap on your seatbelts...

A Christmas Story: If You Need a Good Laugh

I have been in desperate need of a good laugh after the last several weeks, thanks to Maleficent and my poor exwife-bullshit-coping skills.
This email was from Stepmom #2 did just the trick...

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the rum. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

I'd like to wish that Maleficent would be my Christmas Angel, if only for one moment.

Powder Coat

Gretel got into the baby powder the other day.

That is all.

(If you need more, you can click here to SEE the results of said ecapades.)

How We Spent The Holiday

The kids and I are volunteering at a local farm that offers a farm-based education program. Our job is to care for their pasture-fed chickens on school holidays. Volunteers get to keep any eggs found in the coop, as well as bring home some herbs from their gardens. 

We've found one egg each day. 

Yesterday's egg was still warm.

With the Greatest of Ease

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

Who has the best Twitter friends of them all?

I do! That's who.
Just look at what "the twins" and I received in the mail recently...



I love it! It's perfectly HILARIOUS!
I plan to keep it on my bedside table next week.

T-minus 4 days and counting.
I'm a bit crazed to say the least.
So much to do. So little brain cells to do it with.

Spring May Now Come

As we have successfully filled our snow fun quota for the season after Friday's storm dumped close to a foot of snow.


Yep, he's totally aiming for his unsuspecting sister.


But then realized it's way more fun to simply run down the snow-covered hill...




... because snow suits are just as slippery as any sled.


No snow day is complete without hot cocoa. This time, I was smart and started the machine BEFORE we went outside so it was ready-and-waiting for us when we came back inside.


All the fixin's.


Apparently, it's all about the marshmallows.


The perfect cup.


The perfect ending to a perfect day.

(Man these photos suck ass in terms of quality. I just got a new camera and have yet to figure out the proper settings.)

Don't Know How You Do That VooDoo That You Do So Well...

Friday night was supposed to be opening night for Cinderella's school play.
But because Mother Nature SUX! school was closed on account of "freezing rain" and all after-school activities were canceled.
These final weeks of rehearsals and preparations were not without some added (unnecessary) drama - opening night was pushed back a week to accommodate mid-terms, flu befell some cast members and threatened their performance, parental tempers ran high over the late nights of rehearsals - so this last minute cancellation was not taken well.
Cinderella's drama teacher needed cheering up.
So, what else does one do on a rain day but make voodoo dolls to put an end to the bad juju?

All that is needed were two bamboo skewers, some cotton batting, twine and fabric (I used an old pillow case).

I used this pattern for inspiration.

Diagnosis: CAADD

Recently, I was diagnosed with C. A. A. D. D.

(Child Activated Attention Deficit Disorder)

This is how it manifests:

I decide to do the laundry. As I start toward the basement, I notice that there are Cheerios all over the floor and my car keys are in the cereal bowl. I decide to pick up the Cheerios before I do the laundry.

I lay my car keys down on the counter, put the Cheerios in the trash can under the counter, and notice that the trash can is full. So, I decide to take out the trash. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left, my extra checks are in my desk in the office/playroom, so I go to my desk where I find a sippy cup full of juice. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I decide I should put the sippy cup in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the sippy cup a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye they need to be watered. I set the sippy cup on the counter, and I discover baby wipes that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back in the bathroom, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the wipes back down and splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor. So, I get some paper towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the laundry isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm cup of juice sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can't find the wipes, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

***
The above was sent to me in email several months ago. I meant to post it back then but... well, you know how the rest goes. :)

Addictions. What's Yours?

Hello. My name is Wicked Stepmom, and I'm a lipgloss-aholic.
I confess that I cannot step foot into a pharmacy, supermarket or beauty supply store without picking up the latest and greats in lip quenching products.
They're everywhere.
In my coat pockets,
Pants pockets (which also means they wind up in the washer/dryer),
My desk,
My pocketbook,
My knitting bag (which has SIX pockets!),
Night table,
Diaper bag,
Under the couch (b/c Gretel seems to have inherited my addiction and steals borrows them every chance she gets.)

The latest addition to my ever-growing supply:

Burt's Bees Super Shiny Lip Gloss in Sweet Pink.

Your turn. What's your addiction?

Dear Santa

These Are The Days...

One 200 year old oak + one leaf blower + 3 exuberant kids = a day to remember.

A is for...

Apple picking!


One half a bushel's worth...




I call this her "Little House on the Prairie" picture.

War of the Gourds

Friday. September 21, 2007.

Hi WSM, I'm calling to gloat. We put our pumpkin out before yours!


The statement that started it all. A declaration of WAR.
I've unknowingly found myself in the midst of a competition with my neighbors. For the last three years I've had my Halloween pumpkin carved and lit before them.
A fact I never took note of.
Apparently they have and on Friday night Mr. Pumpkin decided to let me know that the GAME. IS. ON. and even went so far as to put BOTH of his sons (ages 4 & 5) on the phone to ask Where's *your* pumpkin? We have a pumpkin. Do *you* have a pumpkin?
No. I did not have a pumpkin.
But all that was about to change.


Sunday. September 23, 2007

Mr. Pumpkin's first mistake was calling to gloat.
His second mistake: giving it EYES.


Eyes with which to see the pumpkin PARTAY! going on in our yard after I paid a visit to the local supermarket that was having a sale. Three GINORMOUS pumpkins for $12?!?!?
Now that's a bargain!


Neighbors' third mistake was leaving their house and their pumpkin unattended for the night.
It looks much happier over here. No?

Monday. September 24, 2007. 8:30am.

Hey give us back our pumpkin!
Their youngest yells from the back seat of their car.
Oh it's on!
Mr. Pumpkin declares as she drives away.

I have two words for my friends.
BRING. IT.

Edited to add:
They did, in fact, BRING IT.
While Mrs. Pumpkin and her kids joined us for a day of apple picking, Mr. Pumpkin upped the ante by spray painting faces on my beautiful VULNERABLE pumpkins.
I figured I would save you the trouble of carving them!
Prince Charming came to the rescue and managed to clean the defaced pumpkins (I take my pumpkin carving very seriously people! and these were practically ruined by this prank!) while I feigned fury instilling terror into the heart of Mr. Pumpkin and didn't speak to him for a week.
I might have even whipped up a special APPLE pie for him too.
Maybe.
;)