Where do they come up with this stuff?
Toddler: [in the car] "Mommy, can you roll up my window? My hair is getting winded."
Toddler: [during our first ultrasound for baby #2] "That's not a baby, that's an alien baby!"
Both kids at age 3: [when being just plain argumentative over anything] "No I amn't!"
Toddler: Anything that begins with a "V" comes out with the "D" sound. "His sister's name is "Vicki", he just calls her "Dick" for short.
One day, in response to a moment of extreme obnoxiousness on his part, I turned around to my son and for lack of anything better to say exclaimed "You ... TODDLER!" to which he promptly replied: "You ... MOMMY!"
And my all time fave...
Toddler: [after spotting the little uvula/hangy-thing in the back of my throat] "Mommy! You have a nipple in your teeth!"
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Monday, May 30, 2005
Bad Mommy!
No, this does not come the mouth of a toddler in the throws of a tantrum because I won't let him use the couch as a springboard. This is a self-proclaimed title. This isn't the 50s and I sure as hell am NOT June Cleaver - though some folks do like to call me Martha Stewart but given her recent escapades I'm not so sure that is much of a compliment, but I digress. My point is, what is this obsession with being the perfect Mom? Honey, there ain't no such thing.
OK, so I admit it, I have let my son eat Cheerios off the floor beyond the 5-second rule, and lick the cake frosting right out of the can before dinner. Sometimes my kids don't eat lunch until 3pm because they're having too much fun playing together. I do use the tv as a babysitter, and at 3 months pregnant and still suffering the ill-effects ofprogesterone poisoning morning sickness, I have that right dammit! I have been known to feed my toddler a bowl of cereal for dinner because I don't feel like cooking, or let my stepdaughter eat cheese and macaroni 5 nights in a row because that's what she wanted.
And despite this, my kids are as close to perfect as those little martians can get. My 9 y/o stepdaughter thanks me every night for dinner (even if it's spinach), believes in the magic of Christmas and in Santa, and still thinks that "stupid" is a bad word and won't think twice about scolding any family member whom she hears uttering it. My toddler says "excuse me" when he burps, has better manners than most adults I know, and enjoys baking the cake with me prior to eating the frosting out of the can.
I'm not the perfect Mommy, and I don't want to be. Good enough will do just fine thank-you-very-much. You won't hear me (or my kids) complaining.
OK, so I admit it, I have let my son eat Cheerios off the floor beyond the 5-second rule, and lick the cake frosting right out of the can before dinner. Sometimes my kids don't eat lunch until 3pm because they're having too much fun playing together. I do use the tv as a babysitter, and at 3 months pregnant and still suffering the ill-effects of
And despite this, my kids are as close to perfect as those little martians can get. My 9 y/o stepdaughter thanks me every night for dinner (even if it's spinach), believes in the magic of Christmas and in Santa, and still thinks that "stupid" is a bad word and won't think twice about scolding any family member whom she hears uttering it. My toddler says "excuse me" when he burps, has better manners than most adults I know, and enjoys baking the cake with me prior to eating the frosting out of the can.
I'm not the perfect Mommy, and I don't want to be. Good enough will do just fine thank-you-very-much. You won't hear me (or my kids) complaining.
Saturday, May 7, 2005
“But, She’s Not My Mother.”
It’s a phrase that can make any stepmother cringe... especially when applied to Mother’s Day celebrations.
It’s a phrase that I heard for the first time last year.
My husband was discussing Mother’s Day plans with my stepdaughter when I had accidentally walked in on their conversation. Their discussion came to an abrupt halt once they saw me standing in the doorway. I pretended I didn’t hear anything but for a moment, those five little words stopped me dead in my tracks. I was hurt. Partly for myself but mainly out of the crushing realization that I, too, had once been a 7 year old with a stepmother. And I, too, had once shared the exact same sentiment.
As a young girl I never celebrated Mother’s Day with my stepmom. No card. No phone call. No present. In my mind, this was not her holiday. Not that I was consciously denying her this day... it simply never occurred to me that Mother’s Day also includes stepmothers.
As both a mom and a stepmom I now understood the importance of being acknowledged by your children. In our daily struggle to carve out a place in the lives of our stepchildren it’s especially important for stepmoms to know that our efforts are appreciated. My stepmother gave of herself so selflessly when I was a child (and still does) – and got so little in return. I regret not showing her the appreciation she so rightly deserved back then. I don’t want my stepdaughter to grow up with these same regrets.
Luckily, Mother’s Day has fallen on our scheduled weekend with my stepdaughter the last two years. So I have had the opportunity to celebrate with her before she goes to spend the day with her bio-Mom. It seems as though the older she becomes, the easier it is for her to accept me as a "bonus" Mom in her life. This year, in fact, she remembered me all on her own and split a classroom Mother's Day project between her bio-Mom and myself. It's these little gestures that re-assure me that I am doing a good job after all.
As for my own stepmom, I no longer forget to show her how special she is to me, and how much I appreciate the endless love, support and guidance she has shown me through the years. After all, without her, what kind of step-Mom would I be?...
It’s a phrase that I heard for the first time last year.
My husband was discussing Mother’s Day plans with my stepdaughter when I had accidentally walked in on their conversation. Their discussion came to an abrupt halt once they saw me standing in the doorway. I pretended I didn’t hear anything but for a moment, those five little words stopped me dead in my tracks. I was hurt. Partly for myself but mainly out of the crushing realization that I, too, had once been a 7 year old with a stepmother. And I, too, had once shared the exact same sentiment.
As a young girl I never celebrated Mother’s Day with my stepmom. No card. No phone call. No present. In my mind, this was not her holiday. Not that I was consciously denying her this day... it simply never occurred to me that Mother’s Day also includes stepmothers.
As both a mom and a stepmom I now understood the importance of being acknowledged by your children. In our daily struggle to carve out a place in the lives of our stepchildren it’s especially important for stepmoms to know that our efforts are appreciated. My stepmother gave of herself so selflessly when I was a child (and still does) – and got so little in return. I regret not showing her the appreciation she so rightly deserved back then. I don’t want my stepdaughter to grow up with these same regrets.
Luckily, Mother’s Day has fallen on our scheduled weekend with my stepdaughter the last two years. So I have had the opportunity to celebrate with her before she goes to spend the day with her bio-Mom. It seems as though the older she becomes, the easier it is for her to accept me as a "bonus" Mom in her life. This year, in fact, she remembered me all on her own and split a classroom Mother's Day project between her bio-Mom and myself. It's these little gestures that re-assure me that I am doing a good job after all.
As for my own stepmom, I no longer forget to show her how special she is to me, and how much I appreciate the endless love, support and guidance she has shown me through the years. After all, without her, what kind of step-Mom would I be?...
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
A StepMom By Any Other Name...
“Can I call you Mommy?” asked the timid voice from the backseat of my car.
There it was.
After nearly 5 years as a blended family, my seven year old stepdaughter was attempting to change the rules.
Since our relationship began, my husband and I always told her that she could call me by my first name.
When we married, we re-assured her (and my husband's ex) that I would not be taking the place of her biological mother, and that she did not have to call me Mom.
I was still – and always would be -- “just Cathy.”
My parents divorced when I was around the same age as my stepdaughter. I was ten when my father re-married and 18 when my mother married my stepfather. In both instances, I called each stepparent by their first names. So I fully expected my stepdaughter to be no different.
Now out of the blue came the question.
My stepdaughter was reaching out to me.
Since becoming a part of each others’ lives, I’ve followed the guidelines on how to create and maintain a successful blended family. And now my stepdaughter was doing her part to further strengthen the bonds of our relationship.
My heart sang.
Not wanting to discourage her, I simply replied “Sweets, you can call me whatever you want.”
I soon began to question my response.
We have a joint custody arrangement with her biological mother. How would she feel about her daughter calling me Mommy? And what would my husband think?
Suddenly, a seemingly simple question had become much more complex.
The subject of what to call stepparents can be a touchy one – for everyone.
In her quest to find a suitable name for me, my stepdaughter displays extreme compassion for her own mother’s feelings. She is concerned, as am I that her bio-Mom would feel threatened if she started calling me Mommy.
Let’s face it, the term stepmother comes with so many negative connotations.
It’s true that since turning 30 I do have more facial hair than I’d like to admit, but c’mon! I do NOT resemble the stereotypical wicked stepmother depicted in those fairy tales. You will not find a single wart on my nose. There are no dungeons or spinning wheels to be found around our home.
So, we continue to search for an appropriate nickname – one that satisfies my stepdaughter’s need to solidify my place in her life while not causing confusion or conflict with her biological mother.
At present, we are trying bonus Mom -- a term that places emphasis on how lucky she is to have an extra mother to love her. She, in turn, is my bonus daughter – another female entity in the house that I can be girly with.
And you know what? We kinda like it!
Now, if I can only find that recipe for poison...err, poached apples.
There it was.
After nearly 5 years as a blended family, my seven year old stepdaughter was attempting to change the rules.
Since our relationship began, my husband and I always told her that she could call me by my first name.
When we married, we re-assured her (and my husband's ex) that I would not be taking the place of her biological mother, and that she did not have to call me Mom.
I was still – and always would be -- “just Cathy.”
My parents divorced when I was around the same age as my stepdaughter. I was ten when my father re-married and 18 when my mother married my stepfather. In both instances, I called each stepparent by their first names. So I fully expected my stepdaughter to be no different.
Now out of the blue came the question.
My stepdaughter was reaching out to me.
Since becoming a part of each others’ lives, I’ve followed the guidelines on how to create and maintain a successful blended family. And now my stepdaughter was doing her part to further strengthen the bonds of our relationship.
My heart sang.
Not wanting to discourage her, I simply replied “Sweets, you can call me whatever you want.”
I soon began to question my response.
We have a joint custody arrangement with her biological mother. How would she feel about her daughter calling me Mommy? And what would my husband think?
Suddenly, a seemingly simple question had become much more complex.
The subject of what to call stepparents can be a touchy one – for everyone.
In her quest to find a suitable name for me, my stepdaughter displays extreme compassion for her own mother’s feelings. She is concerned, as am I that her bio-Mom would feel threatened if she started calling me Mommy.
Let’s face it, the term stepmother comes with so many negative connotations.
It’s true that since turning 30 I do have more facial hair than I’d like to admit, but c’mon! I do NOT resemble the stereotypical wicked stepmother depicted in those fairy tales. You will not find a single wart on my nose. There are no dungeons or spinning wheels to be found around our home.
So, we continue to search for an appropriate nickname – one that satisfies my stepdaughter’s need to solidify my place in her life while not causing confusion or conflict with her biological mother.
At present, we are trying bonus Mom -- a term that places emphasis on how lucky she is to have an extra mother to love her. She, in turn, is my bonus daughter – another female entity in the house that I can be girly with.
And you know what? We kinda like it!
Now, if I can only find that recipe for poison...err, poached apples.
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