Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Stability Amongst the Chaos

Lots of shifts are afoot in the castle.
Custody changes. Moving to a new castle. Finding my independence. Financial juggling resulting from the aforementioned happenings.
All for the better, but difficult nontheless. My conviction is being tested constantly.
I'm just taking it day by day - and sometimes breath by breath.
But in the words of the infamous Charlie Sheen, I'm "WINNING!"
Prince Charming and I had our conversation with the kids about the custody changes. We decided he needed to come to my house, a place of comfort for them. We told them we both loved them, and that we decided together that it would be in their best interest to not have to switch between our two homes mid-week. We reassured them they would still see Dad on his weekends, and one day mid-week (if possible). Made sure they didn't think I was trying to take them away from their Dad, or that Dad was mad at anyone (this was an especially important point to make to Hansel, due to the dinner/food struggles he encounters at Dad's).
I did most of the talking. PC wasn't fully present. He tried, but even the kids noticed something wasn't right with him.
"Dad, you look tired," was Hansel's observation.
We used that as an opportunity to elude to the fact that PC hadn't been feeling well. Likening it to the kids' recent battles with cold/flu viruses.
"Daddy's not been feeling well, so he's been resting and taking care of himself for a change."
We (I) used this as an opportunity to explain that the mid-week visits with him had yet to be worked out to give Daddy a chance to rest and get better.
They seemed to take the news fine. Appreciative of the fact that they wouldn't have to remember to bring their backpacks/homework/library books/jackets back and forth between two homes. And that their would be consistent rules to follow (at least during the week).
Most importantly, they were happy to know that they would still see Daddy.
I've had many follow-up conversations with them to make sure they continue to be ok.
They've had one visitation weekend with Prince Charming since we told them. This weekend will be their second.
Last night Hansel told me he's happy with the new schedule.
I'll admit that I miss the downtime, but I'm lucky and thankful that I have my shit together and can afford to provide a stable and loving home for them in the midst of their father's own chaotic shifts.
I'm worried for Cinderella, who has to live with it full-time.
She and I have had minimal contact since they moved out last year. When I saw her last week, she seemed ... I don't know... not as joyous and bubbly.
I fear, she's taking on the responsibility of caring for her Dad, and for her brother and sister when they visited two weekends ago. I'm almost certain she has been given little by way of explanation as to what's been going on with him. 
I've been wanting to reach out and offer some of my time with her - to talk, hang out - I think that time has come. She might be in need of a little stability right about now too.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Home is...

... where you hang your tire swing.

We're moving. In the midst of custody changes and emotional breakdowns, financial struggles and living paycheck to paycheck - a light at the end of the tunnel has appeared.
A gorgeous home, larger than the one I have rented for the past 6 years and CHEAPER.
Same school district. Closer to Hansel & Gretel's closest buds.
It's perfect in every way.
Judging by the joy on my kids' faces when we go visit the new place, I think they agree with me.