After two days of radio silence, PrinceCharming calls to tell me he is home.
Home after spending two days in an in-patient psych unit at our local medical center.
After receiving the cryptic texts from him two nights before, I did my own research into the facility.
It's hard core. They don't accept just anyone, and they certainly do not let you check yourself in without good reason.
Good reason, I learn, is defined as I-am-going-to-hurt-myself-if-you-don't-let-me-in.
I make phone calls to the facility to make sure he arrived. They can't tell me. Of course they can't.
There is nothing I can do. This situation is beyond my control, and I realize I must stop trying to control it.
All I can do is focus on that which I can control. My own life. And my kids.
Not knowing how long he will be in, I prepare. His custodial weekend is in four days.
When we spoke, Prince Charming seemed to think he would be out in time to take the kids.
But I decide that even if he is released in time, it's in the kids' best interest that they stay with me.
He will need time to sort things out.
I arrange for weekend child care, as I am scheduled to work.
I silently wish him love and light and go about the business of living my life. Severing the emotional ties that still linger, letting go of the need to be involved and care-take him.
This is his life's path now. Not mine.
I know what depression sounds like. I know what depression looks like.
It hurts. Not just you, but those around you.
It runs in my family. And those long-term readers of my blog may remember my own experience with it years ago.
He needs to figure it out. Needs to learn how to take care of himself for once.
When he did check in with me the morning he was released, PrinceCharming sounded hopeless. Despondent.
He didn't argue when I suggested the kids stay with me for the weekend.
"K," was his only response.
He hasn't seen them in two weeks.
Hansel and Gretel haven't asked where Daddy is. I am grateful for that as I don't know what to tell them. I know it need to be addressed.
I just don't know how.
And PC isn't in any frame of mind to figure this out with me.
What would you tell them?
How do I stop his depression from hurting our kids?