Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Step, Three.

My Dad recently re-married.
Marriage number Three for him.
Stepparent number Three for Me!
I love his now-Wife. She's Sassy, Classy and isn't ashamed to admit that she doesn't like kids but for some reason loves Mine. And they Love her. And for those reasons, plus a million more, I Love her.
I Love that my Dad has found a Life companion.
I Love this newest addition to my Family Tree.
I now find myself in uncharted territory. A 30-something year old with a woman whom I have always called my Stepmom though she is technically my EX-Stepmom b/c she is no longer married to my Dad and now a NEW Stepmom.
My Dilemma is not one of emotional loyalties. It's more a matter of semantics.
How am I to differentiate between these two women in conversation or blogging?
Does a 30-something year old need a Stepmom? Or is she simply Dad's Wife?
Both Cinderella and The Boy have asked what they should now call her. Now that she is Grandpop's wife, who is she?

Good question, guys. I'll ask her.
[Does she even want to be elevated to grandmother status?]
Turn out, she does. She is thrilled, honored and touched that the kids feel strongly about assigning her a new moniker.
We tossed around several new nicknames: Nonna, Nanny, Nan, Gran and variations that combined her name + grandma.
In the end, we settled on Granny. Not our top choice but The Boy would settle for nothing less. [He's a stubborn little shit sometimes.]
So, Granny it is.
Growing up, I had just two grandmothers. Both of my grandfathers passed away when my parents were kids.
I sometimes envy our children. Thanks to me, and my extended/blended family they have grandparents to spare. That translates into extra lovin' and extra spoilin'.
What's not to love about that?

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Love Thursday: Cake


Babies.

Baked Goods.

First Birthdays.

Messy CakeFace Photos.



Tuesday, November 14, 2006

ONE

One unforgettable birth story.

One thousand belly laughs, full body smiles and squishy faces.

One hundred milestones (LOOK who's walking!).

One year of being a mother to a daughter.

Happy Birthday Miss Mouse.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Thursday, November 9, 2006

Priceless

Anne Klein Dress: $180 $40 On-Sale

Nina Shoes: $79.95 $59 On-Sale

Jessica McClintock Handbag: $60

The Perfect Dangle Earrings: $24

Hosiery and other incedentals: (Nevermind, you pervs!)

Enjoying a shopping spree with your Mom and [once]StepMom: Priceless

There are lots of things money can buy, but days like this can't be put on a credit card.

***
Ok, so I have to ask: Your *Stepmother* took your *Mom* and you shopping???? Now that's not one you hear every day!

I should be used to this kind of reaction by now.
The concept of a friendly relationship between a Bio and StepMom is fucking insane hard for many to believe.
Given my own challenges with Cinderella's BioMom I shouldn't be surprised when met with slack-jawed response whenever I describe the relationship that has existed between my Mom and StepMom since Day One. But I am.
It's a relationship I take for granted.
A relationship I naively once thought I might have with Cinderella's BioMom.
I now know it's a relationship I will never have. In order for that to happen, I would have to want it.
I don't think I do.
For now, I am happy with the relationship I can share with my own Mom and [once]StepMom.*

* She technically isn't my StepMom anymore since she is no longer married to my Dad. And she re-married 7 years ago. (I was her maid of honor!)
BUT I have known her since I was Seven so she is Family.
And NOW my Dad has just re-married so I have a brand-spankin-new StepMom which makes me incredibly lucky to have another fabulous woman in my life but how does one go about explaining having TWO stepmothers?


(OHMYHELL my Family Tree is beginning to look like some horticultural grafting experiment gone awry.)

Love Thursday: Childhood Wonder



... re-experiencing the World through Her.

Happy Love Thursday.

Tuesday, November 7, 2006

An Election Day Call for BackUp

She asked to be considered before any plans are made for Her.
Although the custody agreement states that BioMom may Elect to spend any non-visitation day with Her where they both have off from school/work, She still would like to have the courtesy of being asked.
Cinderella has taken a huge step towards exercising her Rights. Rights which she never knew she had or was never permitted to express. Rights which we have reminded her of many times since January.
She has been reluctant to speak up about custody and visitation issues. She is mindful of everyone's feelings and doesn't want to hurt anyone. Mostly BioMom who has expressed hurt feelings before.

Cinderella doesn't need that kind of Guilt.
BioMom has been trying to plan out today with The Husband for over a week. He knew he needed to discuss it with Cinderella first. He didn't want to tip off BioMom about this knowing full-well that she would initiate the conversation with Cinderella who would then simply back down and do what she felt her Mother would want.
Husband needed to have this conversation with Cinderella on his own, without BioMom's influence.
Mommy is asking to spend the day with You. But I wanted to discuss it with you first and see what you wanted to do. It's your decision. I'll back you up and tell Mommy whatever you want.
She decided that she would like to see both of us. Her compromise was that she would spend the afternoon with BioMom but wanted to be Home in time for dinner. The paperwork states that BioMom is to return her by 5pm on these Elective Days, so Her request should be easy to honor.
I was present for the conversation with Hubby so I was clear on what Cinderella wanted. She was worried about talking with her Mom last night. Husband wasn't Home yet from work.
Will you talk to Mommy if I need you to? Because, Mommy... well ... you know. You can back me up.
Sure, Babe. I can back you up.

I emerge from putting The Mouse to bed and see She is on the phone.
As soon as she sees me, Cinderella's mind immediately whisks her to the issue at hand and she interrupts Her mother.
Mommy? What time did you want to pick me up tomorrow?

She looks at me... Between 11-11:30?
That's fine.
Mommy? What time...? Umm... I want to be Home in time for dinner so can you bring me back by 5-5:30?
Again, She looks at me... How about 5:45?
Cinderella, if you want to be home for dinner then you will need to be back at 5pm.
Mommy? Umm... They eat dinner early because of The Mouse so I have to be Home by 5pm.
Ok. Mommy? What's wrong?
Ok. Bye.
I could tell by the abrupt ending of their conversation that BioMom was not happy with losing the negotiation. A negotiation that I later found out she had, and lost, with Husband yesterday afternoon. Yet BioMom thought she could negotiate with Me. The very person she feels does not have the right to have these kinds of conversations with Her daughter.
(The Oxymoronic tendencies of this Woman are astounding!)
This was a Huge step for Cinderella. I'm proud of Her.
She is learning to overcome her fear of speaking up for Herself.
I hope today turns out to be a good day for Her. I hope BioMom doesn't make Cinderella feel bad for requesting to come Home.
Only time will tell.
In the meantime Husband and I can only continue to back her up, so she will one day develop the confidence to not back down.

Monday, November 6, 2006

I Feel Pretty

I feel stunning...

And entrancing.
Feel like running and dancing for joy...
Well, maybe not ... but boy there is nothing like a new pair of shoes to make a girl feel pretty instead of like a dead Mommy.

Thursday, November 2, 2006

Trick or Treat: Special Delivery

Despite my best efforts at consumption* as well as an overhwhelming generosity fueled by my insane pathetic altruistic desire to be the coolest house on the block because DUDE! she lets you take as many candies as you want none of this take one piece and now be on your way bullshit. NOOOOOO!! I'm talking HANDFULS of the delectable sweets which are not the no-name cheapy kind but bona fide recognizable brands right here.


Despite all of this, there is still left-over candy.


The numbers on my scale won't permit any further midnight binges, so thanks to the great advice over at Parent Hacks on what to do with left-over candy, I was able to occupy my morning with some productive crafting instead of filling my face with more chocolate.


The Boy is allergic the peanuts. It turns out, that our postman isn't. That's a win/win right there!




I thank you, Parent Hacks.

My waistline and teeth thank you.

And my mailman thanks you too.



*How much you ask? Well, let's just say enough to cause 6lbs in 2 weeks. Ack!